Post by Aveilthé on Jul 22, 2006 2:24:16 GMT -6
Welcome fellow SOians, to a play of my creation! You won't understand this play THAT much unless you've read 'Mercenary Among Merchants', a play about an angelic mercenary, a vampire, a morphing mockingbird, a knife-bearing girl, a young lady of purity, and a Phantom of the Opera-wannabe Phantom. So, enjoy!
Note: This play is not finished.
___
"Mercenary Among Merchants: The Play"
by Kaoru
___
December: I am the heroine of this potentially cheesy romance/action/comedy roleplay. Fear me and my sexy angelic pirateyness!
Imi: And I am December's feathery sidekick that can change into anything I want, except for the fact that anything I change into is as comically miniscule as my true form.
Fortuné: I am the hero of this roleplay. I am what makes this whole story so cheesy. Listen to me play, foolish mortals!
December: I was supposed to find a job up in the palace, but something tells me that I should listen to the pretty boy play his violin and pretend to enjoy it.
Fortuné: You are very pretty. I will now tap dance to show that I can do anything AND be sexy in all my vamp--I mean, manly glory at the same time.
December: So, you work in the palace?
Fortuné: It was too complicating. Now listen as I simper on like a little school girl how amazingly attractive you are.
December: I am less than ruffled with your charming countenance.
Fortuné: Well maybe if I FREAK OUT, maybe you'll like me better.
Imi: Ooh, his eyes turned red!
December: Great, now he ran away, ironically leaving behind his violin and case.
___
Imi: I can turn into a snowy owl!
December: Come with me, Hedwig, and let us stop Voldemort before he kills more people!
Imi: Wrong story...
Fortuné: Sucking is better than biting!
December: We followed you because you need your slightly irrelevant foretoken plot device later in the story. Here's your violin... err... Great Scot and Glory Above!
Fortuné: This isn't what it looks like!
Imi: Of course it isn't, if you're sucking blood out of an old man in a cliché dark alleyway.
December: You're a vampire!
Fortuné: Like I don't know. Lemme just sink into a corner and cry like a helpless baby.
December: Being the snobby self-indulgant cynical sort, I will now turn soft and sympathetic and aide thee in thy dilemma. By the way, I'm part seraph, but you don't know that yet.
Fortuné: Something tells me that your statement won't gratify me in the long run. Now help me carry this icky corpse and find a place to unceremoniously drop-kick into a pit.
December: I back-sass at that, sir! Get used to it!
Fortuné: It sucks being the passive kind! *Whimper*
Imi: Better not forget your slightly irrelevant foretoken plot device, Fortuné.
December: Lets scat before the city guards find us, because I do not feel like going through heavy interrogation.
Imi: I totally rock being a miniature dragon.
___
Broken down house: I am a broken down house, a convenient place to hide and drop-kick dead corpses into bloodcurdling bottomless dark pits, guaranteeing no free zombies.
Fortuné: This be it!
December: Something tells me I won't be the last girl to be taken into a broken down house.
Fortuné: Hey December, lets roleplay Phantom of the Opera!
December: No thanks.
Imi: This house is creepy, but not as creepy as the foreboding endless pit.
Foreboding endless pit: This is my only chance to shine in this story, unfortunately.
Jolene: Don't pay attention to the young girl hiding behind this window, I'm just lurking and watching you all for no real reason other than wanting to be a part of this cheesy romance/action/comedy flick story.
Fortuné: Lets throw him in like a basketball!
December: No, he needs a proper burial.
Imi: If only we could REALLY bury him.
December: Oh heavenly father above, bless this corpsey dead man and let him live forever and ever in your kingdom. Amen.
Fortuné: Nooow can we toss him in?
Imi: That is just disturbing how the corpse doesn't move an inch while you two just unceremoniously toss him the pit in like a sack of potatoes.
Fortuné: Now lets dash back upstairs and party hardy.
___
Fortuné: Shall I start the fire, December? Shall I get you a blanket, December? Shall I make some cocoa, December? Shall I lick your shoes, December?
December: This idiot is really getting on my nerves.
Fortuné: Watch as I blunder foolishly in this dirty old kitchen. Now I shall sing obnoxiously loud to distract December and Imi from hearing this ancient, expensive china crash onto the floor into tiny little pieces.
December: Now where did I place those ear-mufflers...
Imi: He can't sing, but he plays the violin well at least.
December: Glory above, someone's silhouette in the window frame! Time to bring out shining sword!
Seraphim: Fear me, for I am holy, sharp, and kickass.
December: I wonder what would happen if I whack the myserious person with the flat end of my blade. I might whack Samwise Gamgee! Oh, how exciting, I always wanted to portray a Lord of the Rings scene flick!
Samwise Gamgee: Ack, she's on to me! *Flees*
Jolene: *Snort* Not in this lifetime.
December: Avast ye, whippersnapper!
Jolene: Two can play at that game!
December: You suck at comebacks.
Jolene: Let me introduce you to my knives.
December: I refuse to yield!
Jolene: Let me sit here and ponder for a moment as to why I followed you. Oh yeah, because I saw you and that guy blah blah going down the street blah blah blah blah dead body blah blah blah.
December: Those are a lot of reassuring blahs. Okay, I trust you.
___
Fortuné: During all that time, I am sitting here spilling cocoa on me and simpering like a small school girl.
Imi: Oh pipe down, you. You're being such a fop.
Fortuné: Am not. *Gingerly dabs clothes with wet towel while looking vainly in a mirror*
Imi: Uh oh, my morphing senses are tingling. I think December's in trouble!
Fortuné: Alas and alack, my friend! Away with us, verily, and save her heroicly!
Imi: Or we could be quiet and discreet and sneak up on her.
___
Imi: Instead of being discreet like I said I would, I am being rash and announcing myself indiscriminately.
December: Oh, there you are, Imi. And where is... Egad!
Fortuné: Even though I am peeking behind a corner circumspectively, I am not a pervert!
December: I hope you didn't come here hoping to rescue me. That would be ridiculous. Did I just say that out loud?
Jolene: I will just stand here, looking innocently confused.
Fortuné: December, there be something funny about that there human girl. Almost like I want to... FREAK OUT part two.
December: Judging by your improper use of grammar and freakoutness, I think I should start the whole sympathy thing again.
Jolene: I will just continue to stand here and stare.
Imi: I spy with my little eyes... Drool... hanging from Jolene's mouth.
Fortuné: What? I am completely and ignorantly ignorant of what just happened, so I'll just go back in the creepy house and mope in self pity and make cocoa. Cocoa helps everything. Only I don't even like cocoa.
December: Idiot.
Fortuné: Let me give you an ounce dose of confusing mindtrips as you speculate if I am really good or evil.
Jolene: While y'all do that, I'll go with Imi and have a small Jolene-Imi adventure through the house.
___
December: Let's discuss how I should kill you.
Fortuné: Yeah, sure--what?
December: You're a vampire. So yeah.
Fortuné: Did you know I lived for over two centuries?
December: Oh my, I think I feel compassion rising to the surface. I am growing feelings for a vampire.
Fortuné: Yay, we're friends!
December: ...I can still kill you if I have to, right?
Fortuné: Oh, that's a jolly good idea! But before you do, I have a confession I need to make...
December: ...
Fortuné: I dun like cocoa.
___
Jolene: Thus the mini Jolene-Imi adventure comes to an end, and all we uncovered was this piece of metal that I was so sure would become a future plot device.
Imi: Fortuné looks sad. Lets glomptackle him!
Fortuné: Sorry, I've already slipped away while y'all weren't paying attention. Suckers!
Imi: My morphing senses tingle once again. Maybe I should follow him!
___
December: So this knife's metal is made as the same material as my own sword. That's absurd! There is absolutely NO WAY that this holy metal can exist unnoticed on this plane! I refuse to believe!
Jolene: Well Imi and I went down into the basement where we had an unbelelievably suspenseful adventure...
December: Psh, your knife sucks.
Note: This play is not finished.
___
"Mercenary Among Merchants: The Play"
by Kaoru
___
December: I am the heroine of this potentially cheesy romance/action/comedy roleplay. Fear me and my sexy angelic pirateyness!
Imi: And I am December's feathery sidekick that can change into anything I want, except for the fact that anything I change into is as comically miniscule as my true form.
Fortuné: I am the hero of this roleplay. I am what makes this whole story so cheesy. Listen to me play, foolish mortals!
December: I was supposed to find a job up in the palace, but something tells me that I should listen to the pretty boy play his violin and pretend to enjoy it.
Fortuné: You are very pretty. I will now tap dance to show that I can do anything AND be sexy in all my vamp--I mean, manly glory at the same time.
December: So, you work in the palace?
Fortuné: It was too complicating. Now listen as I simper on like a little school girl how amazingly attractive you are.
December: I am less than ruffled with your charming countenance.
Fortuné: Well maybe if I FREAK OUT, maybe you'll like me better.
Imi: Ooh, his eyes turned red!
December: Great, now he ran away, ironically leaving behind his violin and case.
___
Imi: I can turn into a snowy owl!
December: Come with me, Hedwig, and let us stop Voldemort before he kills more people!
Imi: Wrong story...
Fortuné: Sucking is better than biting!
December: We followed you because you need your slightly irrelevant foretoken plot device later in the story. Here's your violin... err... Great Scot and Glory Above!
Fortuné: This isn't what it looks like!
Imi: Of course it isn't, if you're sucking blood out of an old man in a cliché dark alleyway.
December: You're a vampire!
Fortuné: Like I don't know. Lemme just sink into a corner and cry like a helpless baby.
December: Being the snobby self-indulgant cynical sort, I will now turn soft and sympathetic and aide thee in thy dilemma. By the way, I'm part seraph, but you don't know that yet.
Fortuné: Something tells me that your statement won't gratify me in the long run. Now help me carry this icky corpse and find a place to unceremoniously drop-kick into a pit.
December: I back-sass at that, sir! Get used to it!
Fortuné: It sucks being the passive kind! *Whimper*
Imi: Better not forget your slightly irrelevant foretoken plot device, Fortuné.
December: Lets scat before the city guards find us, because I do not feel like going through heavy interrogation.
Imi: I totally rock being a miniature dragon.
___
Broken down house: I am a broken down house, a convenient place to hide and drop-kick dead corpses into bloodcurdling bottomless dark pits, guaranteeing no free zombies.
Fortuné: This be it!
December: Something tells me I won't be the last girl to be taken into a broken down house.
Fortuné: Hey December, lets roleplay Phantom of the Opera!
December: No thanks.
Imi: This house is creepy, but not as creepy as the foreboding endless pit.
Foreboding endless pit: This is my only chance to shine in this story, unfortunately.
Jolene: Don't pay attention to the young girl hiding behind this window, I'm just lurking and watching you all for no real reason other than wanting to be a part of this cheesy romance/action/comedy flick story.
Fortuné: Lets throw him in like a basketball!
December: No, he needs a proper burial.
Imi: If only we could REALLY bury him.
December: Oh heavenly father above, bless this corpsey dead man and let him live forever and ever in your kingdom. Amen.
Fortuné: Nooow can we toss him in?
Imi: That is just disturbing how the corpse doesn't move an inch while you two just unceremoniously toss him the pit in like a sack of potatoes.
Fortuné: Now lets dash back upstairs and party hardy.
___
Fortuné: Shall I start the fire, December? Shall I get you a blanket, December? Shall I make some cocoa, December? Shall I lick your shoes, December?
December: This idiot is really getting on my nerves.
Fortuné: Watch as I blunder foolishly in this dirty old kitchen. Now I shall sing obnoxiously loud to distract December and Imi from hearing this ancient, expensive china crash onto the floor into tiny little pieces.
December: Now where did I place those ear-mufflers...
Imi: He can't sing, but he plays the violin well at least.
December: Glory above, someone's silhouette in the window frame! Time to bring out shining sword!
Seraphim: Fear me, for I am holy, sharp, and kickass.
December: I wonder what would happen if I whack the myserious person with the flat end of my blade. I might whack Samwise Gamgee! Oh, how exciting, I always wanted to portray a Lord of the Rings scene flick!
Samwise Gamgee: Ack, she's on to me! *Flees*
Jolene: *Snort* Not in this lifetime.
December: Avast ye, whippersnapper!
Jolene: Two can play at that game!
December: You suck at comebacks.
Jolene: Let me introduce you to my knives.
December: I refuse to yield!
Jolene: Let me sit here and ponder for a moment as to why I followed you. Oh yeah, because I saw you and that guy blah blah going down the street blah blah blah blah dead body blah blah blah.
December: Those are a lot of reassuring blahs. Okay, I trust you.
___
Fortuné: During all that time, I am sitting here spilling cocoa on me and simpering like a small school girl.
Imi: Oh pipe down, you. You're being such a fop.
Fortuné: Am not. *Gingerly dabs clothes with wet towel while looking vainly in a mirror*
Imi: Uh oh, my morphing senses are tingling. I think December's in trouble!
Fortuné: Alas and alack, my friend! Away with us, verily, and save her heroicly!
Imi: Or we could be quiet and discreet and sneak up on her.
___
Imi: Instead of being discreet like I said I would, I am being rash and announcing myself indiscriminately.
December: Oh, there you are, Imi. And where is... Egad!
Fortuné: Even though I am peeking behind a corner circumspectively, I am not a pervert!
December: I hope you didn't come here hoping to rescue me. That would be ridiculous. Did I just say that out loud?
Jolene: I will just stand here, looking innocently confused.
Fortuné: December, there be something funny about that there human girl. Almost like I want to... FREAK OUT part two.
December: Judging by your improper use of grammar and freakoutness, I think I should start the whole sympathy thing again.
Jolene: I will just continue to stand here and stare.
Imi: I spy with my little eyes... Drool... hanging from Jolene's mouth.
Fortuné: What? I am completely and ignorantly ignorant of what just happened, so I'll just go back in the creepy house and mope in self pity and make cocoa. Cocoa helps everything. Only I don't even like cocoa.
December: Idiot.
Fortuné: Let me give you an ounce dose of confusing mindtrips as you speculate if I am really good or evil.
Jolene: While y'all do that, I'll go with Imi and have a small Jolene-Imi adventure through the house.
___
December: Let's discuss how I should kill you.
Fortuné: Yeah, sure--what?
December: You're a vampire. So yeah.
Fortuné: Did you know I lived for over two centuries?
December: Oh my, I think I feel compassion rising to the surface. I am growing feelings for a vampire.
Fortuné: Yay, we're friends!
December: ...I can still kill you if I have to, right?
Fortuné: Oh, that's a jolly good idea! But before you do, I have a confession I need to make...
December: ...
Fortuné: I dun like cocoa.
___
Jolene: Thus the mini Jolene-Imi adventure comes to an end, and all we uncovered was this piece of metal that I was so sure would become a future plot device.
Imi: Fortuné looks sad. Lets glomptackle him!
Fortuné: Sorry, I've already slipped away while y'all weren't paying attention. Suckers!
Imi: My morphing senses tingle once again. Maybe I should follow him!
___
December: So this knife's metal is made as the same material as my own sword. That's absurd! There is absolutely NO WAY that this holy metal can exist unnoticed on this plane! I refuse to believe!
Jolene: Well Imi and I went down into the basement where we had an unbelelievably suspenseful adventure...
December: Psh, your knife sucks.
?
