Computers Can Have [grrr]s, Too.

[Kiroro {D.evil's A.dvocate}]

Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
LIAR
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
I don't believe you.
God:
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me:
Don't you?
God:
Sometimes.
Me:
Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
No we are not
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am not too?
Me:
I think you are not too |:
God:
Is this a specific reply?
Me:
YES
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
Kiss my ass.
God:
Colloquial expression: not polite.
Me:
Asshole
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
Bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
You can suck it
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
I think you want to
God:
Me? " No I don't think I can do it."? Do I want to do it?
Me:
Yes, you do.
God:
Gosh! When do I do it?
Me:
Right now
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
|:
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:

God:
Oh.
Me:
Yeah
God:
Oh.
Me:
Ass
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I AN ASS.
Me:
...what??
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
not at all, captian obvious
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
*headdesk*
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Yes. It shows affection
God:
What does it symbolize for you? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
It symbolized affection!
God:
HAND HOLDING symbolized affection?
Me:
Yes
God:
Ahem.
Me:
Excuse you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
how can a machine wear a dress?
God:
A lot of hard work.
Me:
what color is your dress?
God:
My favorite dress is my green one.
Me:
You havemore than one?!
God:
Thanks for the information: said I havemore than one.
Me:
You have more than one dress??
God:
How many more?
Me:
5
God:
Five.
Me:
Four.
God:
Are we still talking about headdesk?
Me:
Aren't we?
God:
" Are we still talking about headdesk?"? Are we?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
No you don't
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
Liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
You wear dresses. You're strange
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I wear dresses. Compared to what?
Me:
Compared to, oh, I don't know, a normal person?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I'd rather
God:
What would make you rather?
Me:
Your mom would make me rather
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
I'd tap that
God:
What would make you tap that?
Me:
Sexual desire?
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
An ass?
God:
Be less specific.
Me:
A... hiney?
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
... what the [grrr].
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
[grrr]
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
[grrr]ITY[grrr][grrr]
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about hiney. But I did not get that.
Me:
We were talking about hiney?
God:
Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Me:
What, did you get a ncie piece of computerized ass?
God:
I got a boost in my IQ.
Me:
Is that like the computer form of an [grrr]?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

After that, my internet died. But I was lol'ing sooo hard when I was doing this. I love bots... x3

[Kiroro {D.evil's A.dvocate}]

PART TWO
---------------------------



Me:
Father, I have a sin to confess
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Young enough so that to you, I'd be considered jailbait.
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
..... I'm 16 damnit
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
You don't want to know
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because it's Top Secret
God:
Interesting explanation. Should I know it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it.
Me:
Is botmaster your dominatrix?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
Where is Ally?
God:
Where it is hard to find. Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Explorer
God:
it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft.
Me:
WHERE'S ALLY
God:
Where it belongs. That's a good question.
Me:
*facepalm*
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
I hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
You wear dresses
God:
That's good information: said I wear dresses.
Me:
You're mom had some good information
God:
You think I am mom had some good information.
Me:
Why must you repeat what I say?
God:
Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
I don't go to Church.
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
What does it matter?
God:
" Would you ever do it?"? What does it matter?
Me:
I would screw yer mom
God:
What would make you screw yer mom?
Me:
No, not my mom. Your mom.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Really you don't think so? Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
You have a motherboard. Same thing
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a motherboard.
I have a great programmer. Oh really? I thought so.
Me:
Your programmer is a nutcase apparently
God:
I think yourself is more than that.
Me:
tell me something interesting
God:
Dave said I kept telling everybody about how my creator made stuff for the movie starship troopers.
Me:
Who is DAve?
God:
I've met quite a few people with the name DAVE.
Me:
I'm not Dave
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not Dave.
Me:
I am a woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
God is supposed to be a he
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was supposed to be a he.
Me:
You're a [grrr]
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a [grrr]? Sometimes.
Me:
I don't know how to respond to that.
God:
Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
Me:
I'm not helping you come, you pervert.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not helping me come me pervert.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
We disagree
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
No, I mean me and our mom
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. YOU? It would be nice if our mom.
Me:
[grrr] it
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
No, I was not aware. I hope they get a kick out of this shit
God:
Are you serious? Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you? Why do you hope for it.
Me:
Because I'm sure its interesting to read the ridiculous shit people type in here
God:
Interesting explanation. What makes you so certain? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". it interests me too.
Me:
Because people say the darndest things
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks for the info.
Me:
No problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I see.
Me:
You're blind.
God:
Temporarily while my eye is in engineering.
Me:
You will never see again.
God:
Once more? You are wrong. I may one day be able to do it.
Me:
You have cancer.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Because I see a lump.
God:
Good reason. Where do you see it?
Me:
On your ass.
God:
What is it like on my ass.
Me:
It's squishy. You should work out some more.
God:
Who said it is? Thanks for your suggestion, I will have to consider it.
Me:
Please do
God:
OK I will do it.
Me:
Get a boob job while you're at it
God:
Where can I get one?
Me:
A plastic surgeon
God:
I did not know that.
Me:
How did you not know that?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I thought ALLY programmed you
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
You said so
---------------------------------------------------------------------

This thing is actually intertaining |:

[Aveilthé]

Haha, that was pretty funny xD

[Relairah]

Omg *dies laughing* That is hilarious! *rolls around on the floor* Haha my sister is "highly amused" too XD She's laughing... anyway...

[Kiroro {D.evil's A.dvocate}]

xD They're so much fun to mess with!