-Caught in a Bad Romance-

[Felypsa]

Her selflessness rankled Auster, for some reason. Granted, he had felt that way himself, but for very personal reasons: this was his family he was supposed to protect. Zaynah probably was not acquainted with any of the nobles at all, had no reason to care about them to the point where she thought of nothing else, and freely offered her life to total strangers—simply because she had been taught that way. A ruffled, displeased sigh left him.

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t entirely believe you. A person must want something more in this life.” He shook his head, frowning as the possibility struck him that Zaynah was lying to him because she was afraid of him still. “But I suppose I can understand why you might to hide any ambition from me—you think a display of greed would look ill in my eyes. I assure you, this is not the case. I rather expect that it is the will of those low in status to rise above their station.”

Perhaps that was simply because of who his mother was, and who his mother had mated with, but all the same, it was incomprehensible to Auster that Zaynah would not secretly harbor a wish to seek more in life. It irked him even more if she was telling the truth. What sort of person was content with living for conceited, self-absorbed monsters?

Those same conceited, self-absorbed monsters were the same for whom Auster lived, but again, they were his family. He saw through all their petty dramas and disapproved of their general behavior—Aunt Tiamat was even worse, for she encouraged it for the sake of her own amusement—but as silly as they could be, he yearned to protect them. Furthermore, his mother gave her life for them, and Auster could hope to do no less.

But for someone free of such attachments, as Zaynah was…he could see no reason why she would dedicate herself to such fools.

[Mama Z]

If anything she was expecting some praise for it was she had said. Not because it was the proper thing to say, but because she had been truthful. He, however, saw it another way. Zay blinked as she looked back up at him. He was speaking as if she had some how insulted him. As if she had lied to him. She blinked as she thought over her words but there had been no lies in them.

She shifted and looked up at him, 'I..I am sorry if I offended you. But Im afraid I don't understand.' For emphasis and slight fear she hunkered a bit further to the ground. Again she was trying to think why her words would confuse him. She did wish to do right b her pack. She was full of pride just like her father had been. Why was that wrong?

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[Felypsa]

His accusation made her fear him even more, and Auster frowned as she tried to make herself even smaller. It made no sense, if she was serious. “Don’t you understand?” he repeated, frustrated despite himself. He had to stop and take a deep breath. He was more tolerant than this. More patient. Zaynah wasn’t the one he was angry at.

He was angry at the ones whom his mother sacrificed herself for—which included Aunt Tiamat, whether she was aware of it or no, for if Lacrimosa had been grievously injured or killed, then all the power and position Tia enjoyed would have collapsed. She would have been nothing. Yet she scarcely acknowledged that Phobia was a martyr. Even the Empress, who was no doubt grateful for the sacrifice, failed to pay much attention to their family’s grief. She had even gone off and made puppies, more fragile and vulnerable lives to protect.

Insignificant little creatures, for whom someone like Zaynah could be deceived into dying, so that they might live—purely by coincidence of their royal blood.

Auster shook his head. “Doesn’t it bother you that the Empress never knew about your father?” he asked. “Doesn’t it bother you that the nobility don’t even care that he died for their sakes? Our sakes? And yet, you still want to serve those who don’t give half a fig about you or your family?”

[Mama Z]

THey were on two different levels. he was seeing the broader picture because of his very upbringing. And yet she only saw what she was born to do, and that was thanks to her upbringing. She hadn't meant to upset him, if she had known this she would have figured some lie or simply switched conversation.

He spoke of what she thought, of what their family had thought. The fact that they were grieving without acknowledgement. She looked around the area and finally back to him, 'Im sorry, Sire.' She said, 'Im...Im really not sure what you want of me right now.'

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[Felypsa]

She could not have calculated a more infuriating response. Auster felt his well-known patience wearing thin, and he forced himself to think about this for a moment before snapping. He was not angry with her, as frustrating as her complacency was. He was angry with the whole system, which would so brainwash someone like her into believing that the only thing she had to live for was to serve, hardly nourishing a single hope greater than that.

The windy shield around them whipped harder, swirling like a small cyclone, biting into both of them.

Auster closed his eyes for a long moment, forcing his temper to calm down, and with it, his magic. The wind calmed and was banished altogether, so now the rain fell on them once more. Still not speaking, Auster finally opened his eyes and looked down at her. He stared at her, or rather through her, not really seeing her but the whole problem with this hierarchy. Did his mother also think herself just as unworthy as this scout did? That was the greatest and cruelest deception of all.

Eventually, he did speak. “You must not think of what I want, Zaynah. I am not in control of your life, I do not wield your destiny. Only you do, and only you know what you want.” He would have said more, but he could see that it would only confuse her. Shaking his head, he began to walk away, back to his slow, plodding pace. “Do as you wish now, Zaynah; I shall not hinder you.”

At least, Auster thought, they had gotten the message to the Empress quickly. Assuming Tiamat hadn’t diverted herself. He would go to Lacrimosa nonetheless, to ensure that the message had been heard. But he would not force Zaynah to go with him, if she would rather remain and passively continue to let herself be walked over.

[Mama Z]

He didn't asnwer for a long time but she was aware of the winds around them. She looked as teh raindrops were sucked in, spinning around and around and giving the wind some visibility. She remained still, afraid to move and upset him further. He wasn't like she had expected, or thought of. She wasn't sure of what she thought of the royals she had met in brief passings, but his attitude was different. It was as if he were upset with her social status, something she couldn't control.

In the end, he spoke, but he sounded older than he was and she was certain she had a few seasons on him. He wasn't in control, but she was and she was supposed to do what she wanted. This was what she had wanted. To be a scout like her family, to be a proud member in a hostile environment. Proud like her Father had been. The wind died down completely and she glanced around again and then looked to him as the rain showered them once more.

She wanted to ask if he desired an escort but that seemed wrong. He had been escorting her when she had run into him. quietly, she just followed after him. He didn't see the intruders, she had and she knew where they were originally located.

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[Felypsa]

Perhaps Auster acted more mature than his years, but since living through the war and his mother’s death, he’d been forced to grow up faster than usual. That and he had been gifted with the sort of insight that allowed him to see the folly of others, an inner judgment that he had to constantly keep in check. Sometimes he succeeded; other times, like just now, he did not.

The scout did not respond, but Auster could tell she was following him anyway. He was not sure if he had given her anything to think about, or if she just thought him strange before going back to her happy little brainwashed state of mind. It was frustrating, because he sought to change her way of thinking, but he could not do it, for it would not be genuine…she would claim to change just out of deference to him, as a noble. What she needed was something to trigger her freedom of thought, instead of just accepting what those higher in status told her to think.

Because of that, he said nothing as they continued to plod through the rain. The sooner they got to Lacrimosa and dispensed this news, the better. They would go their separate ways, and Auster would take care not to run into her again. Or, indeed, any other scout or person of lower status. He had begun to see that it was all too infuriating for him. Mother, you should not have given your life so easily. And everywhere he looked, he saw exact copies of that way of thinking, victims of sacrifice waiting to happen, without the will to fight for a better life.

It was almost enough to make him want to leave Giaku, and the whole empiric system, but for his own staunch loyalty to his cousin Lacri and her vulnerable young children.

[Mama Z]

He saw it one way, her another. She truly had no one else to live for. This job, her duties gave her a purpose. Sure she could want the outside world, but then there would go that purpose she had. The one purpose she felt she was created for. She wasn't sure why Auster was feeling that that was wrong. Didn't he have his own purpose in life and what would he do if that was stripped away?

She continued to follow him. This had never been what she wanted. Glory wasn't her goal, never was. She did what she did right because that was the right thing to do. Never did she like making sure things were incomplete. She did her circuits because if something were to slip past, another war to happen, it'd be her laziness that would kill others.

'Im sorry if I had offended you,' she said at last looking up at him. 'That hadn't been my intent at all.'

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[Felypsa]

They continued to walk along, Auster lost in the turmoil of his thoughts, once again not caring about the rain that poured down on them, which showed no signs of letting up. When Zaynah broke the silence, the noble looked over at her for a moment before shaking his large head.

“It is not you who offends me; it’s the self-serving, self-absorbed system of the Empire.”

He was not sure if that would strike true to her, or if it would go over her head. “I am as loyal to my family as my family only. I would die for them, but I do not approve of the way they rule this pack. To hear my father tell of it, it was even worse when my grandfather was in charge. My sweet cousin Lacrimosa, at least, has a more caring heart.”

He glanced over at Zaynah for a moment and then head. “It just strikes me as bitterly unfair as people like your father and my mother can die for the sake of the pack, but go unmourned.”

[Mama Z]

He saw the sacrifices as pointless, something that only effected those immediately around them. He claimed the empress had more of a heart and she had frowned. No one had spoken of the change as if it were a big thing. And she certainly had seen no changes in the pack. Perhaps it was those close by that noticed, but certainly none in her station and lower knew anything different.

'They are mourned.' She stated, 'I mourn every day for my father,' though not as passionately as she had in the beginning. But that was part of time. 'Unfair is if they aren't mourned by anyone.' At least, in some degree. 'My father died doing what he deemed right and what he loved, it would dishonor his memory to think he died for no cause.' She licked her lips, "He died for his cause. I see no shame in that.'

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[Felypsa]

Auster shook his head and was silent. He could not argue with what she was saying, for it would trespass on her personal grief. “We will just have to remain in disagreement, then,” he said shortly, after a long moment of pondering. What she saw as honorable, he saw as a waste of life. But there was no point in trying to convince her otherwise.

He would say no more on the subject, for clearly it would only result in mounting frustrations. But at least, he consoled himself, Zaynah was looking a little less frightened of him. He hoped that she would begin to see him as a person, with flaws and weaknesses, and not just a symbol of the nobility she had convinced herself to serve.

So Auster continued along at his steady pace, one paw in front of the other, and presently he stirred up the wind to surround him and Zaynah again, to protect against the rain. He was content to continue along in a brooding sort of silence, but if she were to interrupt it with another remark, that would do as well. He also kept alert for any intruders, anyone who might be following them from the pack Zaynah had glimpsed.

[Mama Z]

THey wouldn't come to an agreement on that. Probably never would either. Which was sad. She didn't want to be in disagreement with him. But she guessed how thats how it went. If only she knew how deep his troubles had went. Now she kept her mouth shut, following after him. Now she was afraid to speak up and mention anything he may dislike.

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[Felypsa]

She was just as silent, perhaps intimidated right back into speechlessness. Auster decided that he would just continue to ignore her. It was probably for the best. Fortunately, as they continued on, the rain started to let up somewhat, till at length it was barely a drizzle. Auster let up his wind shield without a word, but stopped and looked at Zaynah. “Shake it out,” he grunted, the first words they had exchanged in half an hour.

He took several steps away from her, putting distance in between them so he could full shake himself, flinging much of the culminated wetness from his fur. With that done, he had chunks of fur sticking out all over the place, looking almost comical on a beast of his size. Luckily, he was able to use a slight breeze to smooth them down, returning his appearance to its usual composure.

He would continue to get wet in the drizzle, but at least he was drier than before. Auster glanced over at Zaynah to see if she had made herself equally comfortable before resuming their trek without another word. But he only took a few steps before stopping, eyes narrowing on the column of fog and dirt speeding toward them.

Tiamat was heading back to them already with her incredible speed, and she stopped suddenly a few feet from Auster, mud flinging from her form right onto him. Auster stood rigidly as he got a face full of mud. He scowled at her but said nothing, reaching up with his paw to drag the stuff off. Tia grinned at her uncomplaining nephew. Oh, he was too fun to prank, to test the limit of his temper. If only she had known how he had nearly lost it without her even being there. That would have been a sight to see.

“I reported to the Empress,” she announced, looking from Auster, who continued to delicately scrape off the mud, to Zaynah. “She wants you to go back to the pack and spy on them. Take note of their behavior and movement for the next day or two, and if anything alarming happens, report it.” Auster blinked through the dirt now caked around his eyes at his aunt. She was being…surprisingly helpful, and he was almost suspicious of it.

But Tia quickly abandoned her businesslike manner. “You two been having fun?” she said cheerfully, noting the very somber look on both their faces.

[Mama Z]

The silence surrounding them was daunting. Their emotions were all over the place and really they shouldn't be. Really, she should be running to the Empress on her own, reporting and then going from there. Everything had messed up when Auster had decided to escort her. It was only proof that the lower class and the upper class just weren't meant to mingle on this deep of a level.

Then he stopped and she immediately stopped as well, for a moment her camouflage kicking in. Then he shook off with a few words and she nodded, doing as he had told her to do. Easily her body rippled from the tip of her nose down to her long tail. But they didn't have to go far. Soon Tia was joining them and again Zay felt the odd pang of jealousy that someone had been faster.

She frowned deeply as Tia just flung mud right at him, no rhyme or reason for it, just to do it. She looked between the two of them as they spoke. But there was news for ehr and Zay nodded in understanding. She could do that, if that was what was required. Then came the question and Zay looked down at the ground.

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[Felypsa]

oOc| sorry, forgot I hadn't replied to this

The scout did not even bother to answer with words, simply nodded and then avoided her gaze. Tiamat gave a salacious grin. “I will take that as a ‘yes ma’am, as you command, ma’am.’” She glanced over at Auster, who had ever so subtly rolled his eyes at such egotism, and barked out a laugh. “Have a problem with my manner, dear nephew? I am only speaking for the Empress here, you know. Your Almighty Cousin.”

“You are speaking for yourself,” Auster said coolly, having gotten most of the mud out of his face, though some bits still clung to that magnificent deep-red fur. Thankfully, with the rain, it would not take long for those to wash off either. “Somehow you are able to deliver the simplest of messages in the most annoying of ways.”

Tiamat snorted another laugh. “Well look who found his backbone! About time too. Oh, and the Empress has another command: she wishes you to go with the scout, for she worries that if the scout is seen, she will be attacked and dismembered and disemboweled and possibly eaten. Not necessarily in that order! You never know how vicious this pack might be: the Empress allows for the most gruesome of retaliations. You had better go on with her and make sure none of that happens.”

Auster knew that his royal cousin did not picture such ugly fates for Zaynah, but he could not rightly say for sure whether she would have ordered him to protect her or not. He had to give his mischievous aunt the benefit of the doubt in this case, and anyway, she was probably right to be concerned for a single scout’s safety. “I will look after Zaynah at the Empress’s command,” he said, emphasizing her identity. “Come, Zaynah. We have new orders now.”

He turned away from Tiamat, not wanting to give her more time to think up anything else. Of course his aunt laughed like a hyena as she watched them go. Auster stood out; whatever protection he might have offered Zaynah was offset by his sheer size, and he was surely to be detected easily, whereas Zaynah alone could have sneaked back herself without much risk of discovery. But Auster was too busy being thick-headedly noble. Now they would see if Zaynah would dare point this out to him! Oh, Tia almost wanted to go with them just to see how that scene would play out.