Post by kaalo on Mar 18, 2010 20:45:17 GMT -6
It seems I can never remind myself enough that some things are better left unsaid. Then there is the ever-looming distrust of my hopes and dreams. What is this life without goals, without hope for the future? Just another meaningless high school... Just another boy trying to ignore my feelings. If only this were not so black and white. This life is constructed on the disappointment and failure of others, and all I can hope to do is remember who I am...
Naked as I am, I can't help but look over my shoulder, knowing that at any time someone may be watching. Then again, I know where the feeling comes from. My father... he was a good man, but he has left Nina and I here to fend for ourselves. An unforgiving year awaits and now I am left with the responsibility to represent a class of my peers, most of which do not know, like or respect me. Father, watch me now... I need someone to have my back...
Even as the sleep takes hold, my dreams are confused and unrefined. A series of meaningless events, bound to add more paranoia and embarassment to my already strained relationships. At least in sleep I have no reason to blush... no cause for tears... no need for a frown...
And then there he is. I can't help but smile at the wonder before me. It's not a love built on rocky flirtation and unfortunate sexual encounters, but random acts of kindness and unselfish meeting of expectations that allows me to relax. My heart will make it through this... My mind will make it through this...
My name is
and I will make this life count...