Post by Felypsa on Jul 29, 2010 15:52:42 GMT -6
Playwright's Note: So recently I rediscovered that I had once ambitiously started a parody of the popular web series Red vs. Blue, which, if you haven't seen it, YOU SHOULD GO WATCH RIGHT NOW (redvsblue.com). After tweaking the cast list a bit, I've decided to repost it.
Now, this uses real people (users on this site) rather than characters, even though logistically, characters make more sense.
Shh. Personally I think it's funnier this way. (Exception: Robotic characters from the original RvB, i.e., Lopez, Sheila, and the Warthog, are roleplay characters.)
PLEASE NOTE. If you don't see yourself cast, it is by no means an insult or a slight. First you should keep in mind that not all of the characters show up in the first couple of episodes, so you still might make an appearance in later episodes and YOU DON'T KNOW IT YET.
On the other hand, it's possible that I don't really know you all that well and don't feel comfortable poking fun at you when we're pretty much strangers.
REGARDLESS, I hope you can forgive me and still enjoy what's going on in my crazy head.
For those of you who are represented, as usual, I make the usual disclaimer that this is only for parody purposes, so preemptive apologies if anything is uncharacteristic.
And now, without further ado...
Felypsa Productions presents:
Giaku vs. Shinkou
Cast List
Giaku
Ave (Sarge)
Rel (Simmons)
Demin (Grif)
Addy (Donut)
Lacri (Lopez)
Shinkou
Z (Church)
Crave (Tucker)
Raku (Caboose)
Wom (Tex)
Daaku (Sheila)
Other characters coming soon...
Episode 1: Plot, Please
Rel: Hey Demin. Why are we here?
Demin: That's an interesting question, Rel. So interesting that I don't give a rat's ass.
Rel: -.- You're supposed to go on about God and the meaning of life and stuff.
Demin: Yeah. But I really don't feel like it.
Rel: But your embarrassing spiel is supposed to set up my introduction of the basic plot here.
Demin: Ahh, deal with it.
Rel: O< Fine. Well, uh, I wonder why we're here.
Demin: Good for you.
Rel: Shut up. I wonder why we're stuck here in a near-deserted forum. I mean, we're just one board: Giaku. The only reason we're here is because we're fighting that other board, Shinkou. But the only reason they're here is because--
Demin: Yeah, yeah, we get it. It's a stupid waste of time and there's no point to it.
Rel: But I wasn't done! D:
Demin: You know, not everyone is as airheaded as you. We don't need someone to break it down into tiny little bits to explain it to us.
Rel: Stfu -dropkicks-
Demin: Ah, hell. Shoulda seen that one coming.
Rel: -addressing audience- Anyway, as I was saying. The Shinkou board is only here because we're here. A long time ago, we used to be very popular, and it was less pointless. But then people started losing interest, and in an effort to save themselves, Shinkou split from us. We were considered the "evil" ones anyway. People still didn't care, though, and before long, the once united Shinkou Ookami became just a couple of mostly dead boards that no one cares about. But we're still fighting each other to gain as many members as possible.
Demin: -climbing back up- Yeah...why the hell are we still here?
Rel: Well, I'm here to serve Ave, who is and will always be the greatest pack leader ever!
Demin: It kinda defeats the purpose to be ridiculously kiss-ass if she's not around, you know.
Rel: Noo...it only proves that my feelings of total support for her are sincere.
Demin: Riiight. Well, then why am I still here?
Rel: -sternly- Because Ave won't let you leave.
Demin: Oh. Now I remember...ah, [grrr].
Meanwhile, watching them from a distance are two of the aforementioned Shinkouians...
Crave: Soo...you come here often, baby?
Z: -looking up- Wtf? That's not your line.
Crave: Yeah, I know. I just decided I don't actually care about what they're doing, so I switched it up.
Z: Oh, I can tell that this is going to go really well.
Crave: Hey, I've gotta improvise! That's how I roll.
Z: Well, since you never say the right lines, you could improvise by actually saying what you're supposed to.
Crave: ...
Z: Well?
Crave: Sex.
Z: You know what? I [grrr]ing hate you.
Crave: Aw, I know you're just saying that 'cause it's the line. :3
Back at the Giaku board...
Demin: Are we still supposed to be saying crap now?
Rel: Yeah. Like how if I were in charge this joint would be running so much more smoothly.
Demin: I somehow doubt that. But whatever.
Ave: Get over here, minions! I've got updates to share with you.
Demin: Whoop-de-[grrr]ing-do.
Rel: -eagerly- Coming, sir!
Demin: Sir? Are you serious?
Rel: -dropkicks Demin-
Demin: Goddammit.
Episode 2: Raise the Stakes
Ave: Alright, minions. Hurry it up, I don't got all day.
Demin: Somehow, I highly doubt that.
Ave: Shut up, Demin. Do either of you have any idea what this update will be?
Demin: You're finally releasing me from this pointless war?
Ave: Yes, Demin. By releasing one of the few members we do have, I hope to increase popularity here, thus helping us win the war. You have to subtract before you can add, obviously. That's how these things frickin' work. Congratu-frickin-lations, have a medal.
Demin: That was weak, Ave. Really, given the amount of hate you have for me, you could've come up with something better.
Ave: Shut up now, or I'll have Rel dropkick you to next Tuesday.
Rel: Sweet! Can I do it anyway, Ave? Can I can I can I?
Ave: Later, Rel. Right now you gotta hear this update. It's a good one. We've finally roped in another member.
Demin: Dammit, a n00b.
Ave: Heck yes! It can only go up from here!
Demin: Suuure.
Ave: But before he joins us, I'd like to introduce to you one of the revamped characters. Oy, Lacri! Bring 'im out!
Lacri: -mutely brings out the character-
Ave: Behold! The Regent Emperor, Charon! Except with comfortable saddles for all of us to ride :3
Rel: Shotgun!
Demin: Shot--ah, hell. I didn't want to ride that big old beast anyway. He's too spiky.
Ave: Charon'll be the perfect catalyst for getting us more members--and also for tearing up the Shinkous. He's got kickass spikes that will tear up the whole competition. The Shinkous won't stand a chance!
Demin: I suppose I should say something snarky, but I guess that all makes sense.
Rel: -beams- It's great, Ave! And it's such a high honor for Demin to have his character chosen...
Ave: Yeah, well, I would've brought back Tartarus, but...he's too slutty.
Demin: Yeah. Like creator, like character.
Ave: That's it! Rel, please drown Demin as soon as possible.
Rel: Eagerly, sir!
Demin: Seriously. Sir?? What's with the gender confusion?
Ave: Didn't I tell you to shut up?
Demin: ...
Ave: Well?
Demin: How am I supposed to answer that if I'm supposed to be shut up?
Ave: I told you to shut up! Rel, please do the honors.
Rel: Yes, sir. -dropkicks Demin-
Demin: -sighs- This is going to get really old, really fast.
Ave: -cheerfully- No it won't!
Meanwhile, back with the Shinkous...
Crave: Dude, what's that? He's hot.
Z: Not sure. Big white porcupine-wolf-thing. Could be anybody. One of their characters, I'm guessing. Probably gave him all the kickass powers they could within the godmoding and powerplaying rules.
Crave: I want him. He's sexy and spiky and kickass.
Z: Um, yeah, but we're gonna get a frickin' dragon. Specially imported, tailor-made, and all that. That wolfie's going down.
Crave: Yeah, but no smexy men are gonna wanna flirt with me if I'm on a dragon. Only the really nerdy ones.
Z: Honestly? I don't think any smexy man is gonna touch this place with a ten-foot pole. It's either the nerdy ones or none at all. Also, how is a big spiky wolf any better for attracting hot guys than a dragon?
Crave: Dunno, but he looks sexy. Which one is he?
Z: Lemme check...oh jeez, it's Charon. They brought Charon.
Crave: What, not Tartarus?
Z: No, he's too slutty.
Crave: Hah, like creator, like character.
Z: Haha, yeah, totally.
Next up: No One Cares
Now, this uses real people (users on this site) rather than characters, even though logistically, characters make more sense.
Shh. Personally I think it's funnier this way. (Exception: Robotic characters from the original RvB, i.e., Lopez, Sheila, and the Warthog, are roleplay characters.)PLEASE NOTE. If you don't see yourself cast, it is by no means an insult or a slight. First you should keep in mind that not all of the characters show up in the first couple of episodes, so you still might make an appearance in later episodes and YOU DON'T KNOW IT YET.
On the other hand, it's possible that I don't really know you all that well and don't feel comfortable poking fun at you when we're pretty much strangers.
REGARDLESS, I hope you can forgive me and still enjoy what's going on in my crazy head.
For those of you who are represented, as usual, I make the usual disclaimer that this is only for parody purposes, so preemptive apologies if anything is uncharacteristic.
And now, without further ado...
Felypsa Productions presents:
Giaku vs. Shinkou
Cast List
Giaku
Ave (Sarge)
Rel (Simmons)
Demin (Grif)
Addy (Donut)
Lacri (Lopez)
Shinkou
Z (Church)
Crave (Tucker)
Raku (Caboose)
Wom (Tex)
Daaku (Sheila)
Other characters coming soon...
Episode 1: Plot, Please
Rel: Hey Demin. Why are we here?
Demin: That's an interesting question, Rel. So interesting that I don't give a rat's ass.
Rel: -.- You're supposed to go on about God and the meaning of life and stuff.
Demin: Yeah. But I really don't feel like it.
Rel: But your embarrassing spiel is supposed to set up my introduction of the basic plot here.
Demin: Ahh, deal with it.
Rel: O< Fine. Well, uh, I wonder why we're here.
Demin: Good for you.
Rel: Shut up. I wonder why we're stuck here in a near-deserted forum. I mean, we're just one board: Giaku. The only reason we're here is because we're fighting that other board, Shinkou. But the only reason they're here is because--
Demin: Yeah, yeah, we get it. It's a stupid waste of time and there's no point to it.
Rel: But I wasn't done! D:
Demin: You know, not everyone is as airheaded as you. We don't need someone to break it down into tiny little bits to explain it to us.
Rel: Stfu -dropkicks-
Demin: Ah, hell. Shoulda seen that one coming.
Rel: -addressing audience- Anyway, as I was saying. The Shinkou board is only here because we're here. A long time ago, we used to be very popular, and it was less pointless. But then people started losing interest, and in an effort to save themselves, Shinkou split from us. We were considered the "evil" ones anyway. People still didn't care, though, and before long, the once united Shinkou Ookami became just a couple of mostly dead boards that no one cares about. But we're still fighting each other to gain as many members as possible.
Demin: -climbing back up- Yeah...why the hell are we still here?
Rel: Well, I'm here to serve Ave, who is and will always be the greatest pack leader ever!
Demin: It kinda defeats the purpose to be ridiculously kiss-ass if she's not around, you know.
Rel: Noo...it only proves that my feelings of total support for her are sincere.
Demin: Riiight. Well, then why am I still here?
Rel: -sternly- Because Ave won't let you leave.
Demin: Oh. Now I remember...ah, [grrr].
Meanwhile, watching them from a distance are two of the aforementioned Shinkouians...
Crave: Soo...you come here often, baby?
Z: -looking up- Wtf? That's not your line.
Crave: Yeah, I know. I just decided I don't actually care about what they're doing, so I switched it up.
Z: Oh, I can tell that this is going to go really well.
Crave: Hey, I've gotta improvise! That's how I roll.
Z: Well, since you never say the right lines, you could improvise by actually saying what you're supposed to.
Crave: ...
Z: Well?
Crave: Sex.
Z: You know what? I [grrr]ing hate you.
Crave: Aw, I know you're just saying that 'cause it's the line. :3
Back at the Giaku board...
Demin: Are we still supposed to be saying crap now?
Rel: Yeah. Like how if I were in charge this joint would be running so much more smoothly.
Demin: I somehow doubt that. But whatever.
Ave: Get over here, minions! I've got updates to share with you.
Demin: Whoop-de-[grrr]ing-do.
Rel: -eagerly- Coming, sir!
Demin: Sir? Are you serious?
Rel: -dropkicks Demin-
Demin: Goddammit.
Episode 2: Raise the Stakes
Ave: Alright, minions. Hurry it up, I don't got all day.
Demin: Somehow, I highly doubt that.
Ave: Shut up, Demin. Do either of you have any idea what this update will be?
Demin: You're finally releasing me from this pointless war?
Ave: Yes, Demin. By releasing one of the few members we do have, I hope to increase popularity here, thus helping us win the war. You have to subtract before you can add, obviously. That's how these things frickin' work. Congratu-frickin-lations, have a medal.
Demin: That was weak, Ave. Really, given the amount of hate you have for me, you could've come up with something better.
Ave: Shut up now, or I'll have Rel dropkick you to next Tuesday.
Rel: Sweet! Can I do it anyway, Ave? Can I can I can I?
Ave: Later, Rel. Right now you gotta hear this update. It's a good one. We've finally roped in another member.
Demin: Dammit, a n00b.
Ave: Heck yes! It can only go up from here!
Demin: Suuure.
Ave: But before he joins us, I'd like to introduce to you one of the revamped characters. Oy, Lacri! Bring 'im out!
Lacri: -mutely brings out the character-
Ave: Behold! The Regent Emperor, Charon! Except with comfortable saddles for all of us to ride :3
Rel: Shotgun!
Demin: Shot--ah, hell. I didn't want to ride that big old beast anyway. He's too spiky.
Ave: Charon'll be the perfect catalyst for getting us more members--and also for tearing up the Shinkous. He's got kickass spikes that will tear up the whole competition. The Shinkous won't stand a chance!
Demin: I suppose I should say something snarky, but I guess that all makes sense.
Rel: -beams- It's great, Ave! And it's such a high honor for Demin to have his character chosen...
Ave: Yeah, well, I would've brought back Tartarus, but...he's too slutty.
Demin: Yeah. Like creator, like character.
Ave: That's it! Rel, please drown Demin as soon as possible.
Rel: Eagerly, sir!
Demin: Seriously. Sir?? What's with the gender confusion?
Ave: Didn't I tell you to shut up?
Demin: ...
Ave: Well?
Demin: How am I supposed to answer that if I'm supposed to be shut up?
Ave: I told you to shut up! Rel, please do the honors.
Rel: Yes, sir. -dropkicks Demin-
Demin: -sighs- This is going to get really old, really fast.
Ave: -cheerfully- No it won't!
Meanwhile, back with the Shinkous...
Crave: Dude, what's that? He's hot.
Z: Not sure. Big white porcupine-wolf-thing. Could be anybody. One of their characters, I'm guessing. Probably gave him all the kickass powers they could within the godmoding and powerplaying rules.
Crave: I want him. He's sexy and spiky and kickass.
Z: Um, yeah, but we're gonna get a frickin' dragon. Specially imported, tailor-made, and all that. That wolfie's going down.
Crave: Yeah, but no smexy men are gonna wanna flirt with me if I'm on a dragon. Only the really nerdy ones.
Z: Honestly? I don't think any smexy man is gonna touch this place with a ten-foot pole. It's either the nerdy ones or none at all. Also, how is a big spiky wolf any better for attracting hot guys than a dragon?
Crave: Dunno, but he looks sexy. Which one is he?
Z: Lemme check...oh jeez, it's Charon. They brought Charon.
Crave: What, not Tartarus?
Z: No, he's too slutty.
Crave: Hah, like creator, like character.
Z: Haha, yeah, totally.
Next up: No One Cares
You NEVER fail to amaze me with your plays.
