A song for the fallen (OPEN)

[cptkickercutleg]

The indigo sky hurt Cercius' eyes as he sat on the small sand dune, one hand on his short belt knife, barely half an inch long now, it was wearing out fast, and the local humans weren't about to let him back into Abunage without a spear through his chest.
He puts one thumb on the blade's point, twisting it and piercing the flesh, his twice accursed blood running silently into the parched sands of the wastelands.
He idly twists the blade further, opening the wound wider and wider, blood pooling in his palm and on his lap, spurting slightly as he nicks a vein.
"Fragget!" he curses, quickly putting the wounded digit in his mouth.
He had been staring off, unblinking, into the crimson sunset, and now he was opening and closing his eyes, blinking heavily to remove the dark patches left by the dying light's harsh glare.

He let's out a slow sigh, thumb dropping from his mouth to stain the earth once more.
"Vy es ah ou?" he mutters, bitterly rubbing the stinging sand into the cut.
"Why did I do it!?" he snarls, thinking aloud.
He takes a hand full of sand, going to throw it, as a child with a temper might, but he stops, lowering his hand to watch the sand run through his fingers, leaving a streak of crimson roughness along from the thumb to his elbow.
He shakes his head again, trying to keep his thoughts and emotions under control.
"I have to focus, what am I going to do?" he thinks, eyes closing to banish the last of the floating spots upon his vision.
Sheathing the knife, he resumes his original position, sitting cross legged on the dune, ignoring the numbness around his feet, even if a small part of his head dreads the pins-and-needles to follow.
Taking a deep breath, he composes himself, the warm wind brushing sand against and around him in a dry breeze, catching is his black hair and his parched skin.
"The third Rogvarn breathing pattern should do the trick." he muses, his breathing falling into an odd, staggered movement, first slow out, then sharply out, followed by a sharp intake, then repeated, refilling his lungs with each heartbeat, focussing on his mental task, all awareness of his surroundings faded.

[fangirl728]

Grace relaxed on the sands, stretching out her limbs and staring up at the sky. She closed her eyes and listened to the waves crashing around her. Her breathing slowed, and she would have sworn she was sleeping until something waked her up. Someone's voice, she thought.

She got up on her knees and stretched her arms out, yawning while she did so. Grace then got up and started walking toward a figure she could now make out on the beach. As she approached, she could make out Cercius sitting on the beach. She made sure not to disturb him with her approach, and silently sank down on the beach. She still didn't disrupt him, though, she just waited for him to acknowledge her.

((Yeah if you don't mind I'm joining. ;D))

[cptkickercutleg]

(( Of course I don't mind, he had offered his services to her before, now he gets to fulfil that, if that's what she wants ))

Cercius crawls through his own mind, fending off tendrils of doubt, visualising each and every thought as an obstacle, an enemy, a shield or a weapon, organising his emotions into positive and negative, and designating his thoughts into the peaceful black and white of simplicity, for and against, advantages and disadvantages.
He sat there for a long time, deep in his mind, his heart slow and his breathing staggered, until his eyes open, flashing green as he reintegrates with the world, feeling his body as if he had just taken control of it after being formless.
"Hai Drappa, voh es?" he asks, nodding slowly, his stiff back and neck aching and his legs full of a terrible numbness that promised agonising hilarity for Grace if he tried to get up.
"Are you here to be taught the ways of the Otonami Vulfen? Our laws and customs?" he queries, assuming that she would not have approached him for any reason other than to use him as a gate to knowledge and control, seeing as he was not a social creature.
"What else could she be here for? I'm not exactly in the know about what goes on in these parts, and nothing much happens to me, except..." he pauses, waiting for her answer before he considers continuing his thought.

[fangirl728]

"Are you here to be taught the ways of the Otonami Vulfen? Our laws and customs?"
Grace nodded her head. "I've nothing else to do with my time but go to school again." Grace smiled widely and assumed a more comfortable position next to Cercius. Something told her a lecture was coming, but if it was interesting enough, she might listen. Anyway, she really didn't have a choice. Grace didn't know anything of everything, and Cercius had promised to help her. As much as she hated to admit it, Grace needed that help.

[cptkickercutleg]

(( Bing! Idea! ))

Cercius ponders her presence, his mind still open from his meditations, and a possibility occurs to him.
"If it were any other day or place, Drappa, I would drag you back for your education. Few enough pkaces in the world offer what you're getting, and I have known thousands of grown humans unable to spell their own name. Education is essential, it trains your mind, much like living out here, like this-" he guestures around him to the desert, and the faint line of trees in the far distance, "-trains your body, Grace." he says, a faint smile on his face.
"Come on, I you've got to pose the question eventually..."
His smile fades slowly and a look of consternation crosses his face with a small sigh.
"I'm sure you've noticed that there is a girl missing from Abunage, she won't tell me her name and she can't go back or they'll kill her, she d- almost died, but if she goes back, they'll assume I've bitten her. She won't listen to me, but she knows she can't go back either, because they know what I am now. What I'm getting at is that I need somebody that she knows, somebody she can talk to and be her friend, let her know she's not alone... Okay?" he asks, a hint of desperate pleading in his voice.
"I'll be quite honest here, I've not eaten meat since I saved her, she can't hunt and she won't let me teach her, she's driving me mad!"

[fangirl728]

"A girl who can't go back... You mean she's like me?" Grace asked, her smile fading. She closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. There really was no need to think about her answer. She would jump at the chance to help anyone who needed it. It also wouldn't hurt to make a friend she could actually talk to about... WHAT she was. She could have someone to connect with... No, the choice wasn't hard at all. "Where can I find her?"

[cptkickercutleg]

"A girl who can't go back... You mean she's like me?"
Cercius half-nods, biting his lip slightly.
"You could say that, yeah..." he says, nodding more emphatically as he thinks.
"Where can I find her?"
"Ah... It wouldn't exactly be the right time to see her, she's not exactly..." Cercius clears his throat, his nervousness showing through his carefully constructed veneer of confidence and calm.
"Her - errr - condition isn't quite stable yet... But if you swing around to Hanami Grove in the Sunai Wetlands in a couple of days, she should be well enough to see you, would that be okay?" he asks, reconstructing some semblance of control over his emotions as he talks.
"But enough of the future, what would you like to know about our kind?" he finishes, retreating back to a familiar and comfortable subject.

[fangirl728]

"The history," Grace said simply, seeing as the literal start of things seemed a good enough place as any to start."Why are we like we are?"

((Sorry this post and the pne in Wandering Man are short. I'm just tired, a long, seven day cruise, in which we were late docking, so we were five hours late getting back after our eight hour drive from the port, meaning it was late by the time I got to sleep in my own bed, and then I had to wake up early this morning to go to the Ren Fest with my sister, and I just got back from a long day of heat and dust, and then I had to catch up on all my posts, which took forever, and now I'm just tired and want to sleep. ))

[cptkickercutleg]

(( Rest easy, Drappa, there is always time. Time for everything under the heavens, as it were, and sleep is the most essential ))

Cercius chuckles, nodding,
"Many have asked the same question, Grace, many indeed, and many answers have been spoken, and there is one that has been spoken by the Otonami for centuries, or at least as far back as we can tell. he says, taking on the tone of a patient teacher as he tells her the legend of the schism that lead to the creation of werewolves, according the the Vulfen of the Otonami. (( which can be found here: here ))
"But other reasons have been given: that it is a disease to be cleansed, but that doesn't give a reason as to why only bites that we WANT to infect with, can cause the change in others, another, that it is a very rare birth defect, much like some are born with tails, and the last, and oddest, is that werewolves are crazed fighters that wear the pelt of a wolf in order to imbue them with a wolf's hunger, strength and courage!" he comments with a wry smile, the wind tousling his hair in a care-free kind of way.
"I know it might be a lot to take in, right now, or difficult to understand, so I'll ask now: would you like me to re-word anything that you didn't quite understand?"

[fangirl728]

Grace shook her head, she understood. She wasn't sure how much to believe, but she understood. Grace looked up at the sky, contemplating. Was this what she was? Was this story her back story now? Was this her culture? True, she never had a culture or legends to believe in back when she lived with humans, but... believing in one now was still a foreign idea to her. So how did she become like she was? Was she born this way? Was she bitten? She couldn't remember being bitten, but she only found she could change shapes until later in her life. It puzzled her. She looked back down at the sand and remained in silent thought.

((I never realized how vague Grace's back story was until now. Maybe I should be more detailed in it... Man, that would mean I have to think about it.))

[fangirl728]

((... hello, it's your turn, captain. (I know everyone calls you "kicker", but I like "captain" better. ;D))

[cptkickercutleg]

(( it's fine, I've had more than 3 years to flesh out the story of the Otonami, and it's not hard to convolute a story as though it had been retold in so many exaggerated ways, then fit it to a similar Roleplay (thus the far-far-away approach), then build characters around it. If you look at my characters' bios, they're actually pretty flimsy ^_^;  Honestly, I think vague is good, it allows you to create and expand upon memories. As for the name, most people IRL call me Cutleg, so I'm used to the variants by now :3 ))

Cercius waited a few minutes, letting Grace think, then continues speaking.
"Understand that these answers are usually given soon after the first change, and they are what I would call Gentle answers. The truest answer I can give you, the conclusion I have come to in my years of wandering the world, is that it doesn't matter what made us, because we make of it what we will it to be."
He says calmly, leaning back to lie on the hot sands, stretching his numb legs with a quiet sigh of relief.
"So my advice would be to relax, not worry about the when, where and why, and focus-" And here he takes a moment to prod her leg with his foot, "-Primarily on school! But also on your next target, your life goal, that something so true to you, so impossible that nobody but you can do it in the right way. I've failed my task, but the least I can do is help others achieve theirs." He says, stretching his arms and leaning back, bathing in the hot sunlight.

[fangirl728]

"My advice would be to relax, not worry about the when, where and why, and focus-" he then prodded her leg, "-Primarily on school!" Grace groaned and tugged her leg back playfully at Cercius's mention of school. But she snapped back and gave him her full attention for the rest of his speech.
"But also on your next target, your life goal, that something so true to you, so impossible that nobody but you can do it in the right way. I've failed my task, but the least I can do is help others achieve theirs."
"My life goal..." Grace said thoughtfully. What was it? She didn't know, at least, not at the moment.
"Wait, what do you mean, you've failed your task?" Grace asked, sitting up straight to look at him. "How can you be so sure you've failed? What was your 'task'?"

[cptkickercutleg]

"Wait, what do you mean, you've failed your task?" Grace asks, sitting up straight to look at Cercius as he sighs.
"Set yourself up for that one, didn't you? Pathetic!"
"Shut up! Nobody asked your opinion!" he thinks to himself.
"How can you be so sure you've failed? What was your 'task'?"
Cercius knits his fingers behind his head, lying back and looking up to the clear sky.
"Because," he begins, "I held him in my arms as he died." he says matter-of-factly, "And he died because he was with me."
Cercius pauses for a moment, then pulls his head up with his arms while pushing it into the sand with his neck, a loud grinding noise emanating from the bones in his neck."Aaaaah, much better." he sighs, relaxing again."Where was I? Oh yeah, you've just gotta find your purpose, your reason to live. The only reason I have now is that girl I mentioned earlier, but she hates me, so that kinda sucks..."

[fangirl728]

Grace remained silent for a moment, before reclining back out on the sand.
"I bet I could make her not hate you." Grace said cheerfully. She then added jokingly, "Unless of course, she's had a conversation with you, because the all hope is lost. I mean, who would ever like you?"
Grace raised her head and looked at Cercius with a wide smile on her face.