Post by kooky on Aug 1, 2005 16:48:08 GMT -6
Since I was planning on doing a NWP/SO version of Harry Potter and since Wommie has a current HP fetish, here's....
Kiku Potter and the Ominous Stone of Magic Powers!
Written by...Me!
PART ONE
Twas the night before...something...and all was quiet about Privie Drive, especially in address 666, where the snobbish Wursley family lived...
The Wursley family contrived of Uncle Vermin and Aunt Flower, with their fat little son, Bloodley...
But who cares about some muggle family?
What's more important is that fact that Wombledore had just appeared on the street corner, like the whore that she is! $5.50 an hour!
Wombledore: Excuse me? I happen to be the Head Pisstress at Shinkou's House of Magic Junk and Blahness!
Right...anyway, she had a lighter like the crack shooter that she is!
Wombledore : Can people shoot crack?
That's not important at the moment, anyway...she flicked the lighter a few times and all the street lamps went out...some trick...
Meanwhile, this wolf was sitting on some wall outside the Wursley house...
Yueh : Go me...I'm a wolf...
Shut it, Yueh, or I'll neuter you. Now, Wumbledore went over to the house and pushed Yueh off the wall.
Wombledore : Take that bitch! Don't touch my wall!
Yueh : What? You want to start something? You're lucky this wall's holding back!
Don't worry, they don't fight...They end up talking about She-With-Really-Stupid-Name-That-Scares-People (Kaoru)...cause I made them talk about her!
Yueh : So...she's dead?
Wombledore : Yep. Killed Kiku's slaves...I mean...parents...and gave her this wicked scar.
Yueh : What's the scar of?
Wombledore : The letters F and U...
Yueh : Kickass!
About that time, Moneky showed up on a flying hog. Not a motorcycle, a piggie! Like from Invader Zim!
MF : Hey...I brought the brat...
Wombledore : Good...drop her off on the porch...
Yueh : Should we leave a note.
Wombledore : Why?
So, they left Kiku Potter on the porch and...yeah...end of chapter one...
PART TWO
So, about ten years went by...why? Cause that's what happened in the book...duh!
Anyway, It was Bloodley's birthday, like any of us give a [grrr], and the whole family decided yo go to the zoo.
Kiku : Yippie</sarcasm>
Bloodley : I wanna ice cream and a toy and another toy and food and gimme stuff! GIMME!
Kiku : ....
Aunt Flower : Okie sweetums cause you're the center of the world.
Kiku: He's big enought TO BE the world.
Aunt Flower : Shut it.
Bloodley : Lyke! OMG! A snake! dad, make it move or I'll through a total tantrum!
Vermin : Kay...Ok, snake...get your ass up...N-ow!
Snake : ...
Vermin : What? You can't here me? I said...GET UP NOW!
Bloodley : OMG! Another snake! *Rolls away*
Kiku : Poor snake...
Snake : Yeah...I know...poor me...
Kiku : Woah! I can speak snake! And my Spanish teacher said I'd never learn another language...Go me!
Snake : Go Kiku! Go Kiku! Itsssss your birthday!
Kiku : *Does the robot*
Bloodley : OMG! Teh snake! *Knocks Kiku to teh snake* What a cute little snake...hey...where's the glass?
Snake : Hisssssssssssssssss!
Bloodley; Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Snake : Hisssssssssssssssss!
Bloodley; Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Snake : Hisssssssssssssssss!
Bloodley; Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Snake : Hisssssssssssssssss!
Bloodley; Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Snake : Hisssssssssssssssss!
Bloodley; Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Snake : *Slithers away*
Kiku : *Gigglegigglesnortsnortgiggle*
So, the family went home cause that bitch Bloodley's a little sissy...and there's something about Kiku being locked away until the summer...blah blah...
PART THREE
Coming in one week!
Kiku Potter and the Ominous Stone of Magic Powers!
Written by...Me!
PART ONE
Twas the night before...something...and all was quiet about Privie Drive, especially in address 666, where the snobbish Wursley family lived...
The Wursley family contrived of Uncle Vermin and Aunt Flower, with their fat little son, Bloodley...
But who cares about some muggle family?
What's more important is that fact that Wombledore had just appeared on the street corner, like the whore that she is! $5.50 an hour!
Wombledore: Excuse me? I happen to be the Head Pisstress at Shinkou's House of Magic Junk and Blahness!
Right...anyway, she had a lighter like the crack shooter that she is!
Wombledore : Can people shoot crack?
That's not important at the moment, anyway...she flicked the lighter a few times and all the street lamps went out...some trick...
Meanwhile, this wolf was sitting on some wall outside the Wursley house...
Yueh : Go me...I'm a wolf...
Shut it, Yueh, or I'll neuter you. Now, Wumbledore went over to the house and pushed Yueh off the wall.
Wombledore : Take that bitch! Don't touch my wall!
Yueh : What? You want to start something? You're lucky this wall's holding back!
Don't worry, they don't fight...They end up talking about She-With-Really-Stupid-Name-That-Scares-People (Kaoru)...cause I made them talk about her!
Yueh : So...she's dead?
Wombledore : Yep. Killed Kiku's slaves...I mean...parents...and gave her this wicked scar.
Yueh : What's the scar of?
Wombledore : The letters F and U...
Yueh : Kickass!
About that time, Moneky showed up on a flying hog. Not a motorcycle, a piggie! Like from Invader Zim!
MF : Hey...I brought the brat...
Wombledore : Good...drop her off on the porch...
Yueh : Should we leave a note.
Wombledore : Why?
So, they left Kiku Potter on the porch and...yeah...end of chapter one...
PART TWO
So, about ten years went by...why? Cause that's what happened in the book...duh!
Anyway, It was Bloodley's birthday, like any of us give a [grrr], and the whole family decided yo go to the zoo.
Kiku : Yippie</sarcasm>
Bloodley : I wanna ice cream and a toy and another toy and food and gimme stuff! GIMME!
Kiku : ....
Aunt Flower : Okie sweetums cause you're the center of the world.
Kiku: He's big enought TO BE the world.
Aunt Flower : Shut it.
Bloodley : Lyke! OMG! A snake! dad, make it move or I'll through a total tantrum!
Vermin : Kay...Ok, snake...get your ass up...N-ow!
Snake : ...
Vermin : What? You can't here me? I said...GET UP NOW!
Bloodley : OMG! Another snake! *Rolls away*
Kiku : Poor snake...
Snake : Yeah...I know...poor me...
Kiku : Woah! I can speak snake! And my Spanish teacher said I'd never learn another language...Go me!
Snake : Go Kiku! Go Kiku! Itsssss your birthday!
Kiku : *Does the robot*
Bloodley : OMG! Teh snake! *Knocks Kiku to teh snake* What a cute little snake...hey...where's the glass?
Snake : Hisssssssssssssssss!
Bloodley; Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Snake : Hisssssssssssssssss!
Bloodley; Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Snake : Hisssssssssssssssss!
Bloodley; Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Snake : Hisssssssssssssssss!
Bloodley; Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Snake : Hisssssssssssssssss!
Bloodley; Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Snake : *Slithers away*
Kiku : *Gigglegigglesnortsnortgiggle*
So, the family went home cause that bitch Bloodley's a little sissy...and there's something about Kiku being locked away until the summer...blah blah...
PART THREE
Coming in one week!