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Post by Felypsa on Sept 4, 2006 11:36:22 GMT -6
lmao...okay.
I want to write the next installment.
Just give me some time xD
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Post by Felypsa on Sept 4, 2006 13:34:46 GMT -6
Mercenary Among Merchants: The Play
Part IV
by Fely/Foxie[/i]
_____
Fortuné: Oh, my brother! Please stand still while I cry all over you!
Zayn: -_-' This was the real reason why I left home...
December: Yeah, yeah, break it up, you two. Gosh, you make me sick.
Rosaline: -screams- AAAHH!! Help me!! I'm being attacked by a giant spider!!
Ron Weasley: Spider? Where? -panics and mutters- Follow the butterflies, follow the butterflies...
J.K. Rowling: Copyright infringement!
Andrew Lloyd Webber: Well, if we're going to talk about copyright infringements...ahem...
Rosaline: Wow, a trapdoor in the middle of an old abandoned house...who da thunk? I wonder what happens if I lean on it...AAAAAHHHH!
December: -raises hand to hear- Is that the sweet sound of a dimwit blonde in great peril? Hmmm, I think I'll take as much time as possible getting down there...
Jolene: I totally reappeared suddenly! Whoosh! Wow, look, a trapdoor. I wonder what happens if I jump down it...AAAAAHHH!
Zayn: Are you people really that stupid?
December: You don't want to know the answer...
Zayn: -looks at Fortuné- You're probably right...
Fortuné: Omiguh! I dunno her name! Uh, DIMWIT BLONDE! Whoops, I mean, uh...BELOVED! Yeah, that's it! BELOVED!! Can you hear me now?
Rosaline (down in the tunnel): -static- I can't get reception underground...
Fortuné: I wonder what happens if I lean forward to peer down this hole and shift my balance...AAAAAHHHH!!
December: -smacks forehead- Why me...
The Maker of this Play: Who needs parodies when you have Fortuné being such an idiot?
Jolene: I'm waaaaiting...Gosh, why aren't you people stupid enough to jump down to get me?
Rosaline: Oh, where is, uh...I dunno his name...DIMWIT VIOLINIST! I mean, er...BELOVED!! Where is Beloved to kiss my booboos and make them better? -whinesulkssobsmopes-
Fortuné: -snores- Zzzzz....
Rosaline: His protective male instincts continue to amaze me.
_____
December: So, since we're the only smart ones left in this world, shall we take the Other Way?
Zayn: There's another way?
December: You've lived in this house HOW LONG and you don't even know...
Zayn: Oh, right! Heh, of course there's another way. >.>' I was only, er...testing you.
December: Lead on, O Kinky Turtle.
Zayn: Excuse me?
December: I said, Lead on, O King Eternal.
Zayn: -chest swells- Yes. Follow me, Inferior Woman.
December: -hits head on beam-
Zayn: Oh, watch out for that low beam.
December: ...thanks...-_-;
_____
Past Fortuné's Mother: I am so hott. And I have the prettiest pretty-boy fop for a son in the world. I love you Fortuné. -goes inside-
Past Fortuné: -grins- My mom...is SO HOTT.
Past Zayn: You are SUCH a freak. I can't even begin to explain...
Past Fortuné: Yeah, well, you...you smell like poo! -sticks tongue out and blows raspberry-
Past Zayn: Actually...you do.
Past Fortuné: Aw man...I'm all dirty! My clothes and hair are ruined! Waaaahh!! -throws a temper tantrum-
Past Zayn: Oh, get it over it, you big baby.
Past Fortuné: -sniffles-
Past Zayn: Look on the bright side, there's a creature that kills people roaming the streets at night.
Past Fortuné: This is the bright side, how...?
Past Zayn: Maybe it'll get you and kill you, too.
Past Fortuné: Again, this is the bright side, how...?
Past Zayn: The bright side for me.
Past Fortuné: Oh, okay! -stupid grin-
Past Zayn: Actually, I'm going to seek it out and ask it to kill you for me.
Past Fortuné: Ohh! I get it! It's a trick! While it's out looking for me, you'll double-cross it and kill it! Oh, that's very clever, brother.
Past Zayn: ...er, yeah. Suuuure. That's what I'm doing. Ahem. So, don't tell Mom.
Past Fortuné: Don't worry...your little secret is safe with me -wink wink nudge nudge say no more-
Past Zayn: Riiight...toodle 'oo! -skidaddles-
Past Fortuné: What a cleverly smart and boldly brave brother I have...
Past Mother: What a cleverly smart and boldly brave brother you have...
Past Father: Yeah, unlike you, Fortuné! Bwahaha! That's such a knee-slapper.
Past Fortuné: I hate you, Dad. I'm going upstairs to dream about girls.
_____
December: Hmm, a stage? Now why is this vaguely familiar...
Zayn: It's definitely NOT another insultingly blatant, wannabe reference to the Phantom of the Opera, oh no.
December: Look, another trap door! I wonder what happens if...
Zayn: No, don't!
December: Oookay...oh look, it's so dark and scary down there.
Zayn: You were expecting...what? Rainbows and bunnies?
December: I dun like the dark. -clings to Seraphim-
Seraphim: In yo face, vamp.
Zayn: Damn the light! Okay, let's go.
Imi: Haha, December, we can all see in the dark and you caan't. -raspberries-
December: How the hell can a bird raspberry me?
Zayn: Looks like we're gonna have to JUMP!
December: You planned it this way, didn't you...-sheathes Seraphim-
Zayn: -shifty eyes- What are you talking about? -grabs December's hands and waist and holds her close-
December: ...okay, you're definitely hitting on me.
Zayn: What? I'm not Fortuné.
December: No, but for some reason I am irresistibly attracted to you...
Fortuné: If I were awake, I would so protest. My brother is hitting on one of my lovers!
Imi: This is wrong in so many different ways I can't keep track of them all...
_____
Fortuné: Stay tuned next time for My Dream Part Two!
Zayn: That's when I, er, "die"...
Fortuné: And when I make the stupidest mistake I could ever make!
December: That must be hard to do, since everything you do is a stupid mistake...
Rosaline: My Beloved is incapable of making mistakes! Just like me!
December: I don't think we're talking about the same person here...
Imi: Also, you'll find out who ends up with whom! Well, maybe. If Fortuné ever wakes up.
Jolene: I think it'll be a massive orgy...
The Maker of this Play: Shh! Don't give it away! >.>;
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Post by Aveilthé on Sept 4, 2006 13:45:34 GMT -6
"Past Fortuné: What a cleverly smart and boldly brave brother I have...
Past Mother: What a cleverly smart and boldly brave brother you have...
Past Father: Yeah, unlike you, Fortuné! Bwahaha! That's such a knee-slapper.
Past Fortuné: I hate you, Dad. I'm going upstairs to dream about girls."
LMFAO that's so great...
"Zayn: -shifty eyes- What are you talking about? -grabs December's hands and waist and holds her close-
December: ...okay, you're definitely hitting on me."
I love t3h Foxie's humour, it makes me laugh ^___^ As a matter of fact, it made me laugh so hard, that I snorted boogies.
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Post by Felypsa on Sept 4, 2006 14:00:54 GMT -6
lmao, thanks ^_^ I love how you laugh...you're always piddling or snorting or dying...gosh, I cause you a lot of pain! xP
Parodies are much fun. <3
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Post by Aveilthé on Sept 7, 2006 9:08:14 GMT -6
Yes, they are, and I can't WAIT until you do the one after I do mine and suchwhat. XD; Mine's going to suuuuck.
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Post by Relairah on Sept 8, 2006 18:38:48 GMT -6
OMG! *SQUEALS AND ROLLS OVER LAUGHING* ISH SO FUNNY! xP Foxie, you have AMAZING comedy skills! xD
Favorite lines:
Uhm, none.. reading over it again the whole thing is way to dang funny! xDD
I can't WAIT to read more! xD
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Post by Warlock on Sept 9, 2006 13:59:03 GMT -6
Favorite lines:
Jolene: I think it'll be a massive orgy...
The Maker of this Play: Shh! Don't give it away! >.>;
I laughed so hard I choked on my icecream. Parodies rock my socks off.
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Post by Aveilthé on Sept 9, 2006 14:13:57 GMT -6
We're glad that you are enjoying it. XD Yes, parodies are just too cool for school.
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Post by Felypsa on Sept 9, 2006 15:45:06 GMT -6
Eee! =) Thank you guys so much! You just gave me an ego boost. =P But it wouldn't be nearly as funny without my partner in comedic crime, Kaoru...-bows deeply- xD
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Post by Aveilthé on Sept 9, 2006 16:03:39 GMT -6
Note: There is a part in here that is slightly mixed up compared to the roleplay, scene-wise. It's my fault while producing this little play-thing, but OH WELL get over it XD! If I tried mixing it up... errr... PROPERLY, then it wouldn't have been as fun. Anyway, enjoooy...
Again I bring you another crap-thing of...
Mercenary Among Merchants: The Play
Part 5 (Crap, Kaoru can't read numerals)
by Kaoru[/i]
____
December: And we're back.
Zayn: Even though I am holding you in a not-so dignified way, I am in NO WAY taking advantage of you.
December: *Twitch*
____
Rosaline: Here, future husband, heeeere future husband! It would actually HELP if I knew the guy's name.
Fortuné: *Snore*
Rosaline: Uhmiguh, is there a construction site nearby?
Fortuné: If we're going to sleep together, you better get used to it! Besides, there is nothing more sexy than a girl attracted to a man's grating snore...
Rosaline: Holy fudgecakes! He's asleep!
Fortuné: In reality I am pretending to sleep so you can kiss me. Like in Snow White! *giggle*
Rosaline: Or I could put makeup on your face and make you pretty!
Fortuné: Noooo! No, I change my mind-- *jerks up and hits Rosaline's face*
Rosaline: Great, now I can star as the next Phantom in this year's Broadway performance of Phantom of the Opera.
Andrew Lloyd Webber: Bwahahaha! *Rolling in tons of money*
Fortuné: Sorry, gotta fall back asleep to dream more about angsty past.
____
Past Fortuné: *Lord of the Rings Theme song* On, verily, to our great destination, Meadow-flower!
Past Meadow-flower: Shadowfax, you are my hero!
Past Fortuné: Okay. First stop, inn. Horde lots of coffee into bedroom. Ignore the fifty inquirations about stiffling coffee stench coming from under my bed.
Past Townspeople: Lets all sing off-key really loudly to annoy Fortuné!
Past Fortuné: *Throws a giant boot out the window like in the musical CATS*
Past Townspeople: AHHHHH-- *TOWNSPEOPLE GO KERRSPLUT*
Past Fortuné: Oops! I should get my spatula and start scraping them off the road.
Past Hunched Fellow: I'm the coolest cryptic character EVER.
Past Fortuné: You are very cool and cryptic. I gasp in shock and amazement at your innate crypticness.
Past Sobbing Woman: I'll be the reason that we'll win an Oscar!
Past Fortuné: But this isn't a movie!
Past Sobbing Woman: Shhh...
Past Elderly Lady: I sound cooler because I'm Irish.
Past Fortuné: Anyway, the real reason I'm here is because I'm looking for... the vampire.
Past Townspeople: *Gasps and turns around in a circle then spits on the ground*
Past Ron: Do not say that word!
Past Fortuné: What, 'vampire'?
Past Townspeople: *Repeat above albeit vigorously*
Past Fortuné: Haha, cool! *Shifty eyes and shouts* VAMPIRE!
Past Townspeople: *HYPERVENTALATES*
Past Fortuné: I am looking for a few well-rounded fellows to follow me in an epic quest to storm the vampire's keep and annihilate him once and for all. Who's with me? Yae or nay!
Past Townspeople: Err... which one means 'yes'?
Past Fortuné: And people thought I was dim...
Past Ron: I'll go, only because I want to be a part of "The Expendable Character Club".
Past Fortuné: w00t!
____
Zayn: Lets recap all the characters that have earlier or recently partook in this cliché romance/action/comedy flick roleplay.
December: We have... the dim-witted blonde whose name nobody knows nor cares; the urchin girl whose name I keep forgetting; then there's the expendable hapless vamp Fortuné we all know and love; and of course, me, your sexy pirate-dressed lass that owns a kickass sword that will SLICE AND DICE YOU TIL NEXT TUESDAY IF YOU TOUCH ME THERE AGAIN.
Zayn: *Snicker* Sorry...
December: Imi, go find Mr. Foppy Fop McFopster and his bimbo-chested slut.
Imi: What am I, your servent?
December: In a manner of speaking, yes.
Imi: It seems like the only reason I exist at all is to sneak up on and/or attack the world's most feebleminded characters ever imagined.
____
Rosaline: Here I have with me, a knocked out, sleeping man... and we're alone... in the dark. Hmmmmmmm.
Fortuné: *Snoring and stuff*
Rosaline: I know! I'll do some rude things to him since nobody is watching.
Fortuné: Hot damn, I wish I was awake!
Imi: Holy featherdusters, man!
Rosaline: THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
Imi: I didn't see ANYTHING. *Flies away*
____
Imi: December, come quick, I found that girl you hate so much, and she is doing some rude things to Fortuné that will surely annoy Wyndbain if she ever reads this!
December: Arrrgh, that little slut! I'm going to have her head on a silver platter once we... argh... GET there!
Zayn: I love it when a woman is all riled up.
____
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Post by Felypsa on Sept 9, 2006 16:25:51 GMT -6
Imi: Holy featherdusters, man!
Rosaline: THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
Imi: I didn't see ANYTHING. *Flies away*
That REALLY cracked me up. -is all cracked up-
Ohh, this is amazing, Kaoru. I need us to write more in the actual plot so that we can parodize it more!!! >:]
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Post by Aveilthé on Sept 9, 2006 16:38:26 GMT -6
Bwahaha. Glad you've enjoyed, mon petit ami! :3
*boasts* I personally liked the giant boot part... then I realized that it's like from the production 'CATS'. Mwee.
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Post by Relairah on Sept 9, 2006 19:08:27 GMT -6
Past Fortuné: I am looking for a few well-rounded fellows to follow me in an epic quest to storm the vampire's keep and annihilate him once and for all. Who's with me? Yae or nay!
Past Townspeople: Err... which one means 'yes'?
OMG! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! Did you get that from Robin Hood Men In Tights?!? THAT MOVIE IS SO FUNNEH! XDDD Annyway...
Past Fortuné: Haha, cool! *Shifty eyes and shouts* VAMPIRE!
Past Townspeople: *HYPERVENTALATES*
Hikaru: *Giggles uncontrolably*
Hikaru: *Quotes same as Fely quoted because that part is so funny... but doesn't do it cause Fely already did it* <<;;
Haha, yea me being weird... xD
Squee! Good job, Kaoru! *Ish all laughing again* More must come!
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Post by Aveilthé on Sept 9, 2006 19:17:46 GMT -6
Thanks! I'm glad you've enjoyed it. But Foxie here is my muse for when it comes to comedy... ness. Yes, I got that from Men in Tights. Bwahaha!
Anyway... we simply need to RP more so Foxie could write the next installment!
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Post by Relairah on Sept 9, 2006 19:23:33 GMT -6
Yush! And, I'm actually replying with Jolene! *squeals*
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