Owner of a Lonely Heart

[Relairah]

The night was in its peak, the stars in the sky twinkling and the full moon bright as ever, shining down at the land below. The island was beautiful, covered in flowers and plants and the trees in the distance swayed ever so lightly in a lively breeze. Oh any wolf would love it here where it was bountiful and nature's finest was quite clear. Any wolf but her.

She trudged through the flowery field, barely noticing any of the color or life. The rodents which leaped about and chattered. The fireflies which chased each other and alighted on petals. Why was she here? Why was she anywhere? What did it all matter?

Her figure was average in size for a gray wolf, and it was obvious she had once been quite pretty with her long muzzle, fluffy ears, and slender neck. But her body was thin and weak looking. She walked downtrodden, her long bushy tail hanging lifeless behind her and her head held low. In her green eyes was nothing, no emotion, no life, no will. Her fur was unkempt and matted, black with a hint of blue though indiscernible with all the tangles. It was clear she didn't take care of herself. Like she didn't care at all.

Kairaesa stopped glancing around. She could have sworn she heard something. But it didn't matter. She continued and finally flopped down in the grass. She wasn't sure where she was, how she got there, where she was going. She wasn't sure why she hadn't died yet. But maybe, here was a nice place to finally drift away...

[kmin66]

((Ooc: wow. epic. you write depression really well.))

Tala had always loved night flying, and flying over a land this beautiful was just... amazing. It reminded her of a poem she'd created once. "Below the wingwolf/Beauty and splendor abound/Nature's greatest..." She couldn't remember the last word. Slightly annoyed, but overall unruffled, she shook herself midflight and did a pretty little swooping turn. Just for the fun of it, she shot off a few fireworks. She flew through almost every single one, but stopped short of the last one, which illuminated a prone figure on the ground. Curious, Tala flew closer, but not close enough to put herself in danger. The wolf seemed rather scruffy-looking, like he... no, she... had had a hard life. The wolf didn't seem to pose any sort of threat, so Tala landed a couple feet away, and waited to see the wolf's reaction. There wasn't one. Tala moved closer, and waited. She looked at the wolf's eyes. They appeared dull and uninterested in life. Tala moved close enough to nudge the wolf. Still no reaction. Was the she-wolf dead? No... she was still breathing. "Are you alright? Were you in a dreadful fight?" asked Tala in to her normal, couplet-filled speech. She wondered what could possibly harm a wolf so.

[Relairah]

She flinched at the sound of the fireworks going off, part of her wondering what the hell just happened, though part of her thinking once more that it didn't matter. From the corner of her eye, she could see the illumination of the sky above. Perhaps it was something going on in the distance. Perhaps it was death finally arriving to greet her. But it was none of the above..

Something.... no, someone landed before her, coming closer. It smelled of wolf. Oh yay... She ignored the other. Better to pretend the other didn't exist than to get involved. At least that's how it had been for some time now for her. And it had worked, at least by her mentality.

But then the other got all up in her face, looking in her eyes even. She looked back, but that was it. Then the other spoke, questioning. Oh yea, like she really cared. But she could sure put on the act couldn't she? "No fight, or mishap. Merely lack of care or attention. Do you care? I am nothing to you. Be on your merry way."

[kmin66]

"Honestsly! You expect me to leave you here? No. No! Get up. Come on, get up! I won't leave until you do. Get. Up. Now." Tala growled, unbelievably not in couplets. "And yes, you have value to me, and yes, I do care. Every wolf needs a chance to live! Give yourself one! Now GET UP OFF YOUR LAZY BUM!" Tala began pacing, muttering things under her breath (probably swearing). "If you don't get up, I will knock you out and make you stand up. If you're too weak, I will quite gladly carry you and bring you food. If you have given up on life, well then toobad! Life has quite apparently not given up on you!" She panted, out of breath from yelling. "So... *pant pant* get... *pant pant* UP!"

[Relairah]

Kaireasa's ears laid back on her head a bit timidly. What was with this crazy female? So enthusiastic and seemingly hell-bent on getting her to rise from her comfortable position in the grass. Well alright, alright! If it was that big of a deal to this she-wolf... she rose, not bothering to shake the grass from her fur and looked at Tala. "I have risen. Hardly something to fret over... Happy?"

Admittedly, she was a bit confused. Just who was this wolfess anyway, and if she really did care so much, why? She hadn't asked for anyone's care or sympathy. She didn't need it. Getting her to care about life was something which certainly could not be accomplished so easily. She would go along with whatever directions like a puppet, and once the other was satisfied, still the same lifeless void would exist. At least in her mind. She just couldn't care again, oh, no. Otherwise, she just knew it would be a matter of time before the pain would happen. She wasn't going there again. Ever.

"Life has not given up on me, you say," she murmured, staring into the distance. "Well it is actually true that Death has not claimed me, and as such Life has no choice but to wait till Death is ready. My existence is only to suffer, and one who has not been tainted by torture should not suffer with me. Go on in your naivety... and I shall go on in my solitude."

[kmin66]

"Good to know that you can stand; are you strong enough to hunt, or should I lend a hand? My name is Tala. What's yours?And where exactly am I, in the soup de jour (Ooc: sp?)?" Tala used a spell to ignite a little werelight. "Is there any prey near? From the light, there's nothing to fear," she added, not knowing if magic was practiced in this land. "I have a spell that'll light up prey; if there's lots nearby, it'll be bright as day!" Tala had a thought, then said, "I know this is weird, bur please let my questions... appear. What's your favorite color? And do you enjoy fireworks, or do they make your life duller? And why have you... given up? Did something happen when you were a pup?" Worried now, Tala gently hugged the other wolf (Ooc: will modify if needed). I sure hope not, that would be hard to get off your back... She thought.

[Relairah]

This wolfess talked in a manner she had not heard before, though she supposed it was understandable enough. "I'm the last wolf to ask where we are... I only wonder aimlessly, vaguely aware of my surroundings." She paused, "I am Kairaesa..." her response to the question of her name. She looked toward the light Tala had made, truly having no fear of it anyway. She had seen her share of magical things, though she didn't say so, simply looked toward the trees where she guessed prey probably lurked.

"I'm strong enough... and I'm not sure the light is a good idea. It might alert any prey to our presence. Stealth is the key to a successful hunt." At least, that's how it had always been for her...

With that, it seemed Tala was already off and continuing to talk. She was going along because she was hungry, though to say she wasn't would probably only make this wolfess insist more so she would live for a while longer. But if she was so intent on finding prey... well, maybe she'd shush up before they found any and scared it away. She assumed she already knew how to hunt; Tala didn't need any words from Kaireasa."

Her favorite color was blue. At least... it had been once upon a time. She hadn't ever seen fireworks... so once upon a time she would have found them fascinating. But now? It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. The last question... and then a hug. It was so foreign to her, somehow. She stopped, unsure how to react. It was so warm and comforting, reminding her of how her mother had once protected her. Why was this wolf bringing up her past? For the first time since before she could remember, Kaireasa felt tears welling up behind her eyes. No... she couldn't cry. Tears were worthless. They did nothing.

But she couldn't stop them, no matter what she told herself. She heard a sob escape her lips, somehow unaware of it, and then the tears came like fat rain drops rolling down her face. Completely uncontrollable and she felt herself losing it. Would this wolfess think worse of her? No..no... she didn't care what she thought. She couldn't. Eventually she would leave her, like everyone else. But she sank, unable to stop crying.

It would be over soon, she told herself. And after a time, the tears did stop. And she turned away. She didn't need this wolfess' pity. "I'm sorry," she said dully, thinking maybe it was what she should say, what the other was expecting. "The past surfaced." With that, she stepped forward, wanting more than anything to focus on the hunt now. She didn't want to bring up her past. That would entail letting this wolfess in, maybe earning a friend, leading to love. That, she couldn't... wouldn't... do.

[kmin66]

Oh no, now I've made her cry. Gosh dang it! Tala thought. She shuffled her feet, feeling quite awkward. She was glad when the other wolf stopped crying, and apologized. "No need to be sad- I was the one who caused you to feel bad. The light, by the way, isn't visible by the prey. It just lights them up, so we can see them like it's day." She was glad to be focusing on the hunt, too. Tala switched off her werelight, so she could use the energy to do her other spell. "Let's go hunt. I'll go that way... on second thought, let's stay together. Neither of us know what we're doing here, or what tricks played are... clever? No, that doesn't work very well..." She trailed off, eyes crossed, looking up, attempting to affix a rhyming word onto the end of the sentence. "Oh well. Let's hunt." She began trotting off toward the forest, which had already started to glow with teal-y light from her spell. She began to hum a happy-sounding, bouncy song as she moved toward the forest, but quietly.

[Relairah]

Kaireasa nodded vaguely when Tala explained the light. "Oh... forgive me then for my error." She felt bad... like she'd been a smarty-paws or something. She didn't dwell on the matter though. Yes... let's hunt.

As they entered the trees, they would hear faint sounds in the distance, then some near, such as the hoot of an owl or the chattering of squirrels. Maybe they'd get lucky and find a deer. Suddenly a rabbit scampered across Kaireasa's path and she glanced at Tala briefly before darting after it. She was zig-zagging this way and that until her jaws snapped and it hung lifeless.

With that, she headed back toward Tala, if the other was even waiting for her. She wasn't sure why... she could have easily made it her chance to escape. But somehow, it felt nice having someone who seemed to care so much around. It was so foreign... but she desired it. Anyone would... of course.

"Shall we go for something bigger?" she questioned briefly.

[kmin66]

"Oh yes! I even have a large-hunt poem:

There once was a deer from the trees,
Who suddenly fell on his knees.
He cried out, "Oh help!"
but before he could yelp,
he was eaten by Tala- oh geez.

"What do you think? It took me days to find a rhyme for forest, but then, I changed it to trees. Here- you eat the rabbit, I'll adjust my spell so that we only find big prey. Oh- error? Nah, everybody thinks that. I used to never use it, because I thought it would be visible by the prey! Then, I figured out that it wasn't and now, it's practically my favorite spell." Tala was happy. Just... happy! Her tail was wagging so hard, she felt like she could take off without her wings. "Can I call you Kai? Then, I can say, 'Hi, Kai!' Isn't that fun?" Suddenly, a teal light appeared not too far from them, pulsating. Tala dropped to a crouch, and whispered, "That one's big, and it's injured. The light is really bright because it's big, and flashing because whatever it is is injured. Shall we?" Tala began crawling forward, checking every now and then to make sure Kaireasa was following. She was so glad that the other wolf was up and moving, and almost even (seeming like) they wanted to live again. Let's not get too hopeful yet, she reminded herself.

[Relairah]

This wolfess talked... a lot. She wasn't sure how to respond or even what to make of it. It was like this wolfess was the exact opposite of herself. Or... her current self. She looked a little dumbfounded and only nodded when she deemed it was necessary. The dead rabbit still dangled from her mouth all the while until all of a sudden Tala's attention turned toward something else... a bright flashing light, which she then proceeded to explain and then assumed hunting position. She dropped the rabbit, not caring if some other predator decided to pick it up. She wouldn't need it anyway if they got a deer.

"Uhm..." was all she said at first. Then, "Well... the poem is nice and... um.. creative." She knew it was a little late... she just was so overwhelmed by this wolfess' cheeriness. "And... your spell is very useful. I've had mostly rabbits for a very long time. I can't get a deer by myself. Too weak..."

She followed after Tala, senses alert. Finally it came into sight. She waited for Tala's lead, and didn't respond to the question of calling her 'Kai' for now. She just would wait until after the hunt.. she told herself...

[kmin66]

"Well, your not alone, so you should be fine!" Tala whispered, cheerily. They slipped between some trees and into a clearing. There, a cougar was sitting. It was a young male, probably in another cougar's territory and got pushed out. It had a bad neck cut, among about 30 others. One, maybe two, of its legs was quite broken. Wow. I'll bet even Kai, in her weakened state, could take that one out. "Forget whispering- he couldn't move to kill us if I shoved my paw in his face," Tala said confidently. She strode up and tore out his throat, but he landed a shallow scratch across her leg. She didn't even notice it. "Dig in; he's a has-been!" Tala took a leg off the cougar- she loved to eat the legs. They always had extra muscle. She left Kaireasa to the rest, knowing that the other she-wolf would want to keep up her strength to live. At least, I hope she wants to...

[Relairah]

This was quite far from what Kaireasa had been expecting. She had never heard of a wolf eating a cougar, and as such had never tasted it herself. But it didn't mean she was opposed. A meal was a meal, and she was quite hungry. More than she would admit. She only stood still when Tala killed it, unsure if she should help or not. She supposed if the cougar had given more of a fight, she would have, but it wasn't necessary in the end.

So, she moved closer, hesitating before tearing out a large chunk of shoulder meat and eating it. It was good enough to her and she continued to eat, her stomach begging for more. It sure beat a measly rabbit that was for sure. Although, in the back of her mind, she supposed she wondered what had done this to the beast...

When she was done, she sat back, licking around her lips. She hadn't felt this full in a very long time, which made her glad in that sense. Still, she was far from being out of her mellow and depressed state.

"Thank you... Tala," she said. "That was a good meal. And something new..."

She wasn't sure what to say next. Now that the hunt was over, she had nothing else to distract her or to divert the conversation otherwise. Her stomach was happy, but that was nothing. She could feel the heavy darkness that she carried pressing upon her mind.

[kmin66]

"You're welcome, but if you hadn't raced after that rabbit, I would never have seen this big boy." Tala sighed, feeling fat and happy. Now would be a perfect time to help her, Tala thought. "So... your life? It is obviously filled with strife. I listen well; don't mind me here. '...You have nothing to fear/from this, my quiet listening ear'," she said, reciting a line from her poem about trust. "I'd tell you my story, but there's nothing to tell; I don't really remember my past very well. In fact, all I remember is warmlight, and then coldwetdark, and then nobreathwet, and after that, black... But then, my memories start. I was on a log..." she trailed off, lost to la-la-land ((Ooc: Or is that spelled Tala-land?)) Remembering where she was, Tala shook and said, "But what about you? I'm sure you have a story, too. You can tell it here; I'm all ears." Tala lied down, prepared for the worst. Whatever could shake a wolf this much was guaranteed to be darned awful.

[Relairah]

Kaireasa found it strange that Tala was thanking her of all things, though she said nothing concerning the matter, only gave a light shrug. And then, all of a sudden, Tala was bringing up her past once again. What was it with this she-wolf? Why was she so insistent on learning Kaireasa's problems? Surely it wasn't possible for someone to be so genuinely caring without some sort of self gain. She didn't sense the sort of darkness within Tala to twist Kaireasa's pain against her. But to use her for some end? That was not so far a stretch for this wolfess.

But Tala was talking of her own past. Something bad had happened she couldn't remember. Well that was probably a good thing. If she did, perhaps she wouldn't be so naively cheery. But it seemed the wolfess would not be satisfied unless she gave her something. Oh, but what to say? She wasn't sure where to even start.

It was so strange, how she thought of her past each and every day, every moment. It was a constant reminder not to trust, not to care, not to hope, not to befriend. Yet when someone else - someone who seemed true - asked, it seemed to rip her heart from her chest and spatter it on the ground all over again. Like it had been trampled each time in the past. Could she tell this wolfess anything without becoming attached?

Telling required letting in.

Letting in made a friend.

Made her vulnerable.

In danger of more ruin.

She closed her eyes, silent still, and finally when she opened them, she was looking off in another direction. She could tell, she decided. But she knew her eyes would show more than the dullness that had been ceaseless for so long. Tala couldn't see that.

"I grew up far from here. When I was young, my family and pack were slaughtered." Her voice was emotionless, at first. "Some of us survived, pulling together, determined to go on. But the stench of blood remained. We could not escape it and so the demons came, drawn by their lust. I ran like a coward. I knew we were no match for them. When it was done, I went back, looking for those of my family. On seeing them, I broke, wishing I had died with them. I should have. But an old wolf found me and forced me back to health. He told me I must move on, I must keep going for their memories. When I was strong enough, I left him, but finding I was lost, I went back to find him gone. No trace. No sign. No way to find him."

She paused. Had it truly been so long ago? "I went my way once more, until another found me. He was charming, handsome, with all the right things to say. I thought at last someone truly loved me despite my past. But I was a fool to be so naive." She paused again, wondering if she should go into detail as that night burst through her mind. That memory was the worst of all of them and she shoved it aside, knowing she wouldn't stop the break in her voice should it come in full. "When he was gone, I lived on to bring into life our unborn pups. Two passed. One I loved. He grew to be just like his father and he left me. I have never seen him nor heard from him since. Perhaps he is dead like all the rest."

She finished and was silent a long while, simmering down the welling in her heart. "Love is a curse, meant only to destroy, to torment. To love is only for those who are fools. Fools willing to throw their heart to the vultures."