Post by aquamarine on Jul 10, 2012 0:11:17 GMT -6
((tell me what you guys think. I love criticism so I can improve as a writer. I am one and I'm in the process of writing a book 
))
The forest was empty but Abigail was unconvinced. Something was wrong she could feel it there were signs everywhere. The clawed trees, the drips of blood the lay on a rock and the smell of death filled her nose. She had her bow in hand and a arrow out just in case. As she walked through a herd of deer started to run straight towards Abigail. As quick as a flash Abigail jumped, grabbing a branch above her, then swung her legs upward using them to hold on to the branch. The herd pasted her but kept running.what from? she thought. She stayed on the branch and looked toward where the deer came from. Everything began to shake as Abigail struggled to stay on the branch. As she held on tight, a giant fox came bounding towards her. Abigail gasped. Beast like this were legend they had to be sealed away into someone. So what was one doing here and why is it looking Angel at Abigail? The beast stopped right in front of her making Abigail lose her grip. She feel on her stomach and gasped for breath. Wasting no time the scratched Abigail's back throwing her in to a tree.
"wrong move my furry friend!" Abigail screamed in pain as black smoke began to billow around her. Her form began to change as a series of muscles moved and bones cracked. As the fog cleared what was left of the girl to was a huge black panther. Abigail's own beast. She roared at the fox and lunged forward taking it by the throat. The fox squealed in pain and began to scratch her face. In anger Abigail threw the fox into a tree. On impact the tree cracked and fell. leaving the fox to die Abigail padded away in the darkness of the forest.
))The forest was empty but Abigail was unconvinced. Something was wrong she could feel it there were signs everywhere. The clawed trees, the drips of blood the lay on a rock and the smell of death filled her nose. She had her bow in hand and a arrow out just in case. As she walked through a herd of deer started to run straight towards Abigail. As quick as a flash Abigail jumped, grabbing a branch above her, then swung her legs upward using them to hold on to the branch. The herd pasted her but kept running.what from? she thought. She stayed on the branch and looked toward where the deer came from. Everything began to shake as Abigail struggled to stay on the branch. As she held on tight, a giant fox came bounding towards her. Abigail gasped. Beast like this were legend they had to be sealed away into someone. So what was one doing here and why is it looking Angel at Abigail? The beast stopped right in front of her making Abigail lose her grip. She feel on her stomach and gasped for breath. Wasting no time the scratched Abigail's back throwing her in to a tree.
"wrong move my furry friend!" Abigail screamed in pain as black smoke began to billow around her. Her form began to change as a series of muscles moved and bones cracked. As the fog cleared what was left of the girl to was a huge black panther. Abigail's own beast. She roared at the fox and lunged forward taking it by the throat. The fox squealed in pain and began to scratch her face. In anger Abigail threw the fox into a tree. On impact the tree cracked and fell. leaving the fox to die Abigail padded away in the darkness of the forest.
