Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2012 14:47:54 GMT -6
Name: Freki
Gender: Female
Race: Wolf
Sub-Race: N/A
Breed: Hybrid- (arctic/Winged wolf)
Pack: N/A (Looking for one)
Rank: N/A
Appearance: Freki has Jet black fur, with white on her left front paw, and right back paw. Her eyes are a dark green, and can change colour to a dark blue or pure black depending on her mood. The tips of her tail are white as well and at the tips of her ears as well. She is a healthy looking wolf not to thin or fat. Her wings are jet black with white at the tips of her feathers.
Personality: Freki at first can be Shy at first but once you get to know her, she is more open. She loves to run, hunt, fight-play, and have fun. She follows orders, and hates being a leader. She is intensely loyal, respectful, and will to jump to someone's defence when the time calls for it. She can be very stubborn at times, and chooses her friends wisely.
magic: N/A
-Spells: N/A
Skills: Freki can fly, she can also fun very fast but in the cold, she won't be able to run or fly as fast. She is also able to track nearly anything down.
Biography: Freki is five in wolf years. Her mother abandoned her as a pup, and Freki was left to care for herself. She hunted mice, rabbits and anything she could find. She had no brothers or sisters as they had died. Her father had disappeared before her birth, and she grew up as a loner she is still looking for a pack.
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Post by demin on Aug 22, 2012 15:22:31 GMT -6
Please go back through and fix the many spelling and punctuation errors in the profile. There's tons of comma splices, unneeded apostrophes, and instances of improper capitalization which need to be corrected. Also be sure to put a space after each period. You'll also have to elaborate on her personality. A good rule of thumb would be to make both the appearance and personality sections at least a paragraph in length. As it's written now, I can't accept this profile.
Edit: Be sure to fix the bold code as well.
Edit 2: Please fix the thread title to read "Freki - Loner"
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2012 13:43:08 GMT -6
Sorry...I have fixed it. Anything else?
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