-I'm alive dammitt-

[Addykins]

She could remember the happenstance of her demise, remember clearly the havoc of the fighting around her, she remembered seeing Lacri hurt by that Alpha, and in turn attacking that Alpha. But Phobia was not meant for war, she was never designed to be in the thick of battle. Her shield was meant to protect, but she was not a killer, not a fighter in that sense. And she had failed, she had died at the hands of Wynbain, left the world, left her mate and her sons. But she had died protecting those she loved, she had given her life for the ones that she loved. Given her life for the ones who had accepted her, despite what she once had been. And for that she would happily die once more. But of course, if you die you stay dead don't you? At least that was the accepted notion when it came to such a final and forever state in your life. So how was it that she felt like she was waking up from a long dream? Her eyes were heavy, she had to blink several times before the completely white orbs stayed open in the bright, harsh light of the sun.

She felt like she had been sleeping for a very long time, her limbs were heavy, her body a bit stiff, and for a long moment she simply debated closing her eyes and falling into some sort of odd sleep. But she was confused, she didn't know where she was, nor why it was so bright. In fact she didn't remember anything but Wynbain's fangs at her throat. Was she dead then? The thought startled her and she scrambled to her feet, heaving her stiff body upwards and trying to figure out where she was. She frowned as she looked down to see soft grass and a few brilliantly colored flowers, her head turning to take in the scenery around her. She paused, cocking her head to the side before realizing...she knew this place. She knew where she was standing. She was in Hanagumori Fields. In Giaku. Had it all been a nightmare? Had the war not even happened? No..no it had to have happened, it was much too real to have been a dream. So what was this? Why was she here? Wasn't...wasn't she dead?

She couldn't help but stretch, yawning loudly as the thick veil of sleep slowly started to fade away. She always had a hard time waking up, so it took her another few seconds, another few stretches, and another long yawn before she shook her head and her mind cleared some of the thick fog away. She frowned deeply, not sure where she should go...who she should find. No, she knew who she should find. Zephyrus, her mate. Her love. She was confused as to why she wasn't...well dead. She didn't FEEL dead. She didn't feel...well actually she felt great, she felt better than she did when she died. None of the aches or pains that had accompanied her after the birth of her sons. She wondered very briefly if this was some cruel joke played upon her by the gods, that she was being cruelly punished for some misdeed she made when she was alive. But really, what had she done? Fell in love, had her children, die to protect her loved ones. She didn't think that would warrant such a cruel joke. She needed to find Zephy, as soon as she found him they could figure out what had happened, but she just needed to find him.

[Mama Z]

Life was just that. Life. A process he went through every day because it was all he could do. It wasn't to say he was sulking, but Zephyrus didn't feel whole any more. He visited with his sons enough, but really had no way to guide them. As loving as he could be, he was lost on how to properly nurture the boys to full maturity. They were grown though, and as far as he knew, didn't resent him at least. They had all suffered a loss that was still being felt to this day.

He hated where he lived. If not for his sons and the few family members he had left, he would have gone. Then again, if he had gone, he'd have been a lone and still confused and lost. He refused to support the current rulers, something his brother knew clearly. Both had learned though to not fret over politics. Charon did what he had to do and did it with pride and Zephyrus just stayed far away from it all.

The sleek druin sat on a rock, his white gaze looking down at the swirling waters of the puddle below. Not looking per se, just staring. His mind was a vast well of emptiness. He was sure there were things to be done today, like hell he felt like doing them though.

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[Addykins]

She wasn't sure where she should look, where she should even begin. She still felt a bit stiff, like she'd been sleeping in an uncomfortable position for far too long, she had to stretch her legs a few times before the feeling would even begin to drift away. She couldn't remember much of what happened after Wynbain attacked her, couldn't tell if perhaps it all had been a horrible nightmare, or if she really had been dead. A light frown tugged at her lips as she looked around with her white eyes, she wasn't seeing anyone that she recognized, no Lacrimosa, no Charon, no Zephy, not even her sons. This concerned her, worried her and she picked up her pace. Hell she was hardly seeing anyone! How long had she been...dead? Had it been so long that they were gone? No, it couldn't be that, she was being silly, she could still smell the faint scents of her beloved family as she moved through the territory, she just needed to find them.

Her travels took her to the river and really it shouldn't have surprised her when along the river she spotted him. He was sitting upon a rock, staring down at the river and she felt a twinge. He looked...well enough, yet she didn't particularly like that look upon his face. Of course with Zephyrus emotions were never a strong suit and therefore she couldn't exactly glean the exact temperament he was in. She trotted forward, her ears pressed forward and her expression hopeful. She hoped, oh did she hope, that this wasn't some prank that the gods wanted to pull, that she was really back here with him. She hoped that he would see her, would hear her, and that she could feel him again. She needed him, because she wasn't sure what was going on, not sure why she was here. She supposed she was still in shock, as she felt oddly calm and her footsteps were light and quiet. She paused a good ways from him still, uncertain that he'd hear her, that he'd see her. She was suppose to be dead.

"Zephyrus" Her voice was quiet, soft, hopeful and she waited for him, waited for him to turn and look at her, to see her. Oh how she hoped that he would see her. It didn't matter that she didn't know how she was here or that she was suppose to be dead, she just needed to see him, needed to hear him say her name.