Reticence of Raven

[Aveilthé]

A loud crunch was issued from the dark wolf as it slunk through a field
of red poppies. Steel-like jaws gnawed and grinded over the flesh
and bone of a dead catfish, freshly caught, but had quickly met it's
demise by a hungry wolf.

The creature was no ordinary wolf, either; it was a Morókí, given the
distinguishable physique of bear and feline-like features. However,
her appearance was more feline than bear, for her body was
slender and built for speed rather than strength. She was tall,
with the uncanny appearance of her mother - raven-black fur,
glossy to see beneath the moonlight, save for her eyes being
as yellow as a sun's golden fury.

At this hour of the night, Raven may have looked as she always
had been. Completely normal in a sense of conforming to the
standard, yet inside she was tearing apart. She would dare not utter
any of her secrets, thinking that fear would either be carved into
her friends' minds or... well, Raven didn't know exactly. For the past
three days, it was hard to accept what was occuring inside of
her. Nearly incomprehensible... the entire bit of it. But Raven knew,
and accepted it. She had no other choice, there was nothing that
she could do to change it.

For the time being, she felt it best to be alone instead of being
surrounded by family and friends that would smile upon her every
day, a smile which she could no longer bear to look at. It was best
to lie in the darkness, to mull things over through her head.

Raven soon got her wish. An upright rock was just ahead of her,
thus she trotted towards it, and feeling as if the rock was her
personal sanctuary, she lay on her side, facing the rock, and
wept a little.

[Felypsa]

A nose, thrust purposefully in the air, took a deep sniff, a request from the winds to bring its owner recent news of a loved one. But the owner of the nose was not as talented with or beloved of the winds as his brother-in-law, so he found nothing with that first definitive sniff.

A mighty being prowled forth from the shadows into the night, darkness sliding into darkness. The only hint of light and life was his eyes, golden in color, where ghosts of his past clung. Much of his endangered species lived on in him. It was heavy burden to bear, but he bore it well and with grace.

Of late he had been haunted by visions of his past. Mother, who lived long enough to save him from the clutches of one of the most vilest creatures to ever roam the earth and who consequently bequeathed to him his strengths. Father, who raised him well and whose death inspired a brutal killing streak within him. Friend, who was the first to believe in him since his parents and whose murder drove him to near insanity. Demon, his most vicious enemy, who always managed to come back and destroy everything he had built up.

He shook his great head to purge it of such thoughts. His situation now was idyllic and ideal: lover and mate, precious children, loving family. Though he lost his brother-in-law, dear friend, and caring alpha, his life was sailing smoothly. Except for these visions. Well, he would just have to shove them aside and move on. He was in his sixth century now: the other centuries should have died when his old bodies had passed away.

Again he flared his nostrils, and this time got success. Excited, but expression stoic, he began to lope easily towards the scent. Through the fields of poppies, the scent led him quickly to the one he sought the most. His heart, which had been tied in a knot in the past few days, slowly began to unclench. Then, on a rock, his golden eyes, which contained ghosts of his past, sighted the light of his present and future: Raven.

He did not need to call. He simply sidled up to her, knowing she would realize he was there. All his names slid away: Goth, Dark Soldier, Guardian Beta, even father. Right now he was just Raven’s mate. That was all he needed to know.

[Aveilthé]

Ears swiveled around automatically to the sound of someone
approaching, yet she did not look up for her face was hidden beneath
her slender arms, all hidden in the shadow of the great rock. She
knew who it was. The knowledge that her life partner
had come to her had lifted her heart enough to at least let her
cease her weeping.

"Love..." came her gentle words, though muffled. "I was hoping
you'd never have to see me like... like this." Her last few words
shuddered as she started to cry again, albeit softly. She didn't
want to face him, for she was afraid now, as if stepping onto the
brink of a dark chasm and fearing of what might lay at the bottom.

[Felypsa]

Instinct reared inside him; the ghosts of the past vanished from his eyes, which sharpened into concern. His love was in pain and suffering, and he would alleviate it. That was all he knew. Not so much with words as with actions.

He padded up to her and nuzzled her, softly as a gentle giant: he licked her tenderly, knowing these affectionate motions would convey to her all his love. He did this for a while, licking the tears off her face, nudging her, rubbing his head against hers, warming her. Oh, how he loved her. He could not live without her.

After a long time—at least half an hour—of this show of love, Goth murmured in her ear, “I will be here for you always. Now won’t you tell me what’s wrong? You need not fear my judgment of you…I will be here for you always. Just tell me, and I will comfort you.” For he had never cared for anyone like he cared for Raven. And he would do anything for her, just to see her smile again.

[Aveilthé]

OOC: Haha... *dies*

Raven tore her face away from the rock's solace and embraced
Goth, burying her nose into his arms and fluff, much like a frightened
pup would do to her mother or father for safety. Her eyes were
draining tears by the second, but she did not think of it, for her
thoughts were far too preoccupied.

"I... I can't," she whimpered, now lost within the darkness of the
reality that was happening to her. Oh she loved Goth so much,
that she wanted to tell him, but her sobs prevented her from
speaking at all. It was not so easy for her. The past month
she was forced into putting on a mask, a mask that hides the pain;
putting on the happiness so that nobody could see the despair.

[Felypsa]

Goth was understandably shocked at his mate’s reaction, but he did not show it. His golden eyes closed halfway, like crescent moons, as he tenderly nuzzled her and continuously licked away her tears. But there were so many…and soon the taste of salt became bitter to him. For the first time in a very long time, the mighty Goth began to feel fear.

Not fear for his own life…no, he had never felt that kind of selfish fear. Fear for his most beloved, most dear, who was sobbing uncontrollably with no end in sight. Oh, what could have caused her such sorrow? Anguish twisted Goth’s heart. Even worse, a feeling of helplessness, akin to fear, that Goth was not familiar with, began to seep into his heart. He could do nothing else but sit here and lick away her tears. “Oh, Raven, Raven,” he murmured, as her terrible grief tore through him too. Was she still in mourning for her lost brother, Yueh? Could their Alpha’s noble death be the cause of such violent grief? If so, there was truly nothing Goth could do to help her or ease her pain.

[Aveilthé]

Silence crept through the still, Spring air as Raven's cries had soon
ebbed. Raising herself up gently from Goth's grasp, she gazed away
into the west, her eyes sparkling as the sun hit her golden eyes.
She sat back upon her legs, facing away from her lover.

Though poor Goth had thought that Raven was depressed due
to Yueh, he was far from the real truth.

"I'm... I'm dying," she said softly, perhaps too much so, for she
could hardly hear herself say these words. Perhaps it was her
thoughts that were speaking aloud. Alas, her words was brought
gently to the wind, and carried on invisible wings to the sky.

[Felypsa]

oOc| wtf.



To Goth, it seemed that the entire cosmos had exploded into chaos, winds of turmoil whipping through the world, lashing out with cords of fire against his heart, sending millions of burning sharp arrows into his soul. That one word was the ugliest, most sorrowful, most evil word he had ever heard. “Dying.” Raven? His lovely, beloved Raven? From a species of wolves who lived forever, she was dying?

“N-no,” he sputtered, sounding as foolish as a pup. Struck speechless by this disaster, Goth did not take this calmly. He did not ask “How do you know?” He did not ask “Why?” The certainty in Raven’s quiet, shaken voice had reflected the truth. Memories of pain and grief from his long and complicated past came rushing back, but this was the worst one. The havoc in his heart finally culminated, and it tore out from his chest in the form of a long, loud, aggrieved howl to the heavens.

The howl was so loud and so laced with sorrow that it made every creature nearby tremble with fear and sadness. In the busy night, this one sound cut through all the noise, silencing joy with grief. No one had ever heard anything like it.

And this mighty wolf, this Guardian Beta, this intimidating creature that had struck fear into the hearts of the most vile and evil of enemies, found himself being crumpled by a sorrow, the likes of which he had never felt, in all the instances of his pain-filled history.

When he dropped his head again, breathing heavily, the night still echoed and throbbed with the feeling. With dry but despairing eyes, Goth gazed at his lover. When he spoke to her, his voice was hoarse from the projection of his emotions. “How long?” How long did he have to spend with her, to relish all the love they shared, before she left him forever?

[Aveilthé]

OOC: Fely you make me laugh LMFAO. I totally L-O-L'd.

The reaction from her lover broke Raven's heart into billions of
pieces. It was like a whole universe in her heart that had collapsed
upon itself. This is what she feared. Her heart seem to have
stopped for a whole minute, but as she looked around at him, her
face appeared calmer than before, yet her eyes would not stop
leaking wet, hot tears. She spoke in a gentle whisper.

"The difficulty was telling you," she spoke quietly, lying down
upon her stomach and kissing Goth's paws. "I have accepted my
fate. As for how long... I'm not sure. A lump has been growing
on my side, and it has increased for almost a month. It hurts to
run. I cannot run as fast as I used to. I won't be able to run with
you anymore." Raven ceased speaking for the moment, for she
looked up at Goth, then glanced away into the distant fields
once more.

"I... I hate this being so dramatic... it took a while to work up
the courage to even tell you this... but as my life-partner, you
have every right to know. Sooner or later. I..." She paused again,
lowering her muzzle. There was something she desperately needed
to say, but she didn't want this to feel like her final goodbye to
the dark wolf she loved so much.

[Felypsa]

oOc| haha, you're terrible. our poor characters are crying their hearts out and all you can do is LOL. for shame, kaoru xD



Goth just looked at her, loving her, suffering for her, cherishing every word she spoke even though they were full of despair. He listened, feeling a lump of his own growing, but this one was in his heart, in his throat…still, it was just as painful.

“Oh, Raven…thank you for telling me. I could not have bore it if you had died suddenly.” He did not smile, but his golden eyes glowed. “Now I can spend time with you still. Now we can live the rest of your life together and to the fullest potential it can be lived. I love you, Raven, and nothing in the history of the world can ever change that.” He nuzzled her tenderly, warming her, being there for her. Oh, he would miss her so much. Death is truly a horrible thing, when it came stealthily like this.

[Aveilthé]

OOC: Hehe. Well its certainly a knee slapper *slaps Fely's knee*

Oh noes... Sound of Music is on e_e

"I... I love you too. That will never change, ever," she responded
quietly into his ear, then kissing his face, her spongy tongue
warm and soft. "The children will find out soon. I'll... I'll speak
to them privately... I am just sorry that I will be leaving Celtic
and Pagan while they are still young. I will probably not see them
grow into full, beautiful adults." Another pause was granted, but
as she allowed such silence, she let her dark nose touch Goth's.
"Perhaps I have lived long enough, my love. Long enough to at
least fill my heart with love... I had found it... that was you.
Perhaps... it is simply my time. I appreciate you giving that to
me, more than anything. Giving me beautiful children also. To be
a part of your life... it was amazing, Goth, truly. Just think though...
if ever a wind passes through your fur... perhaps it will be me,
giving you a message. I'll be close to you even then..."

Raven then dropped her ears. "Forgive me for speaking like this...
I've already said that I have accepted my fate... I ask you to accept
it also."

Suddenly, the heavens brightened considerably as a meteorite
soared completely across the sky.

"Oh, Goth, did you see that?" exclaimed Raven, shifting her weight
as her golden eyes briefly caught the tail-end of the shooting-
star. "Oh that was amazing. It took my breath away, and it
was so unexpected!"

[Felypsa]

The great stoic wolf allowed himself to be touched with Raven’s affections, returning them tenderly, lovingly. But her words made it seem as though she was already dead. Hearing her speak like that nearly brought tears to his eyes. She would never see Celtic and Pagan grow up; that tore through his heart like nothing else. He imagined going on without her, raising the children, watching Electra, Rakurai, and Mimei find mates and bear children of their own seeing Celtic and Pagan develop into their full adulthood, strong despte their handicaps. It struck him that Raven would never be a grandmother, and his grandchildren would never know her.

A single tear slipped down from his golden eye at this thought. “You were my life too,” he whispered, simply because he did not have the energy to speak any louder. “Five centuries I spent alone, searching for my raven, my salvation, and I finally found you. In the longevity of our lives, the time we spent together was hardly an eyeblink!” He had to fall silent, and while he did, he lay one of his mighty paws on top of Raven’s. “Yet it was the most wonderful eyeblink I have ever experienced, and I will treasure our time together forever.

“No—” he caught himself. “I will not speak in the past tense. You are still alive, Raven. You have not yet died. You are still here with me, and we are still together. I love you with every fiber of my being, Raven, and I always will.” He had scarcely finished speaking when the shooting star streaked across the sky, a brief instance of light in the darkness.

“It was beautiful,” he said to Raven, smiling softly, meaning more than just the meteorite. “It was brief, but it was so beautiful.” In the back of his mind, Goth wondered if someone they loved had sent that shooting star. Was it his mother, or father, or dear friend? Was it Yueh himself? Whoever had sent it, it was a blessing, and he swore to himself that no matter how many years and traumas would pass by him, he would remember this moment forever.

[Aveilthé]

OOC: Sound of Music is on. AGAIN. Hahahah

I love it when all the children start crying at the dinner table. Such good actors e.e

"My love," Raven sighed, lying down close to Goth and lying her
head upon his shoulder. "You've never quite told me about your
past life... You tell me so much, but... it sort of feels odd to ask...
I guess I just want to know more about you."

[Felypsa]

Goth leaned his head against his lover’s, but he stiffened when he heard her request. His golden eyes were filled with shadows. After a few moments, he relaxed. If he could not trust the details of his past to his beloved Raven, he could not trust them to anybody. She already had a vague idea of his murderous history, in any case. He knew her opinion of him would never change. But it was…hard, confronting some of the things that had happened to him and that he himself did.

“Where to begin?” he sighed. “I only have a vague recollection of my mother—Divineh, she was called, and everyone who knew her loved her. She died saving me from a foul demon prince who had kidnapped me as a pup. Since that moment, I subconsciously branded all demons as my enemy…a philosophy that has always remained. Oh, Raven, I cannot tell you how many demons I destroyed…whether innocent or guilty or just soldiers in a war, I killed them with indifference and even hatred.”

He moved his body closer to her, needing her warmth, knowing that soon he would be without it. “It seemed that we were always at war with the demons. One battle I remember…the most fearsome…my father, Helcarax, who was also the alpha of our overlarge pack, was in a vicious duel with the demon leader, a fool ambitious king named Nordoré.” Goth’s eyes blazed; clearly that name had been branded into his heart forever. “Eventually the demon bested my father…I watched him slaughtered before my very eyes. Then a rage took me—a rage I had never known…and I became the Dark Soldier for the first time.” He shuddered slightly, thinking of the bloodthirsty, near-soulless creature that was his own alternative form, a fierce weapon in war. “Except then, the Dark Soldier was called Stormwing. Stormwing—that is, I—struck down Nordoré, the murderer of my father. And immediately afterwards I met my nemesis: Nordoré’s heir, Zostar.” The mighty wolf spat out the name with pure loathing.

“Zostar promised revenge, but he pulled out the demons before I could retaliate. I should have killed him then. But I was so unused to Stormwing’s power…the madness, the sheer battle-frenzy, Raven…I had never known anything like it. I hope you never had to experience it. It consumes you like a flame consumes brittle leaves…” For a moment, Goth paused, staring off into the distance. Then he shook his slightly and remarked, “But I digress. Oh, Raven, my past is so…so unlike my life today…I know you have heard many of my stories, but do you still want to hear more? That was only the beginning.”

[Felypsa]

oOc| fiiiixed it